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Elizabeth nodded. “Of course. John won’t give up. I only hope he’s not killed.”
“He seems rather good at takin’ care of himself. But he hasn’t been too good at takin’ care of you.”
Elizabeth looked about, and then said in a low voice, “He wanted to take me away, but I wouldn’t let him.”
“Why ever not?”
“I could not leave you all here to suffer for what I’d done. I said I would find a way to fix things, and I will.”
But things were looking more and more bleak. She had never even asked John where to find him should he have to leave the castle.
Adalia tsked and shook her head. “Ye’re tryin’ so hard to be brave. I wish ye’d see that ye’re not in this alone.”
“I feel very alone,” she whispered.
Bannaster charged back up the stairs to the great hall, and Elizabeth fell back. But he came right at her.
“You tell your mistress that I’ve driven Russell away. Like a coward, he obviously does not want her enough to fight to the end for her.”
She bowed her head.
“Tell her that she will soon understand that I am doing what is in her best interest. I have sisters—I know how silly women can be.” He swept by her, calling, “Milburn! We need to strengthen our defenses. More soldiers up on the battlements and in the gatehouse. That man is not getting back in here.”
Elizabeth heaved a sigh when the men were far enough away. “Adalia, I need a tray for her ladyship.”
“You go on up to her, Anne. She’ll be able to comfort ye.”
Adalia was right. Up in the tower, Anne put her arms around Elizabeth after hearing the news.
“You betrothed is a man who can take care of himself,” Anne insisted.
“And you know this even though you haven’t met him?” Elizabeth asked, trying to keep her words light.
“Everything you have said about him convinces me of it. Be confident, he will return for you.”
“I keep trying to tell myself that I don’t need him,” Elizabeth whispered. “But ’tis a lie. I think I might be in love with him.”
Anne drew her to a bench and sat beside her. “Then that is a good thing.”
“How can it be good?” she cried. “I had my whole life planned out, and loving someone so desperately was never a part of it. I never meant to give my husband such power over me. I wanted my heart free, so that I could have my own life while he had his. Now I might not even be permitted to marry him, when I want so much to—” She broke off, finding herself dangerously close to tears.
“He will return for you,” Anne said firmly. “We both know it.”
“And possibly be killed,” she whispered, hugging herself.
“Nay, Bannaster seems to be a man who takes his king’s word seriously. He will not jeopardize his future by harming a fellow nobleman. He thinks the king will rule in his favor, so he won’t have to. But the king will honor your betrothal. Surely he will not risk alienating two such impressive houses as Alderley and Russell. And then you and Lord Russell will discuss your marriage, and make it work to the satisfaction of you both.”
“John is a man of adventure, Anne. He’ll leave me much of the year as I’ve always wanted a husband to do.”
“Stop this foolish worrying and trust yourself.”
Elizabeth had always done that—and now she didn’t know if it was enough.
* * *
John and Philip met up at a clearing in the woods, a place decided on from the moment they’d gone into Alderley in disguise. Philip was leading two horses.
“You’re none the worse for battle,” Philip said, smiling. “Did it feel good?”
