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She could barely concentrate on his words, so warm was she becoming, so much did her flesh tingle at his touch. But she sensed that he was telling the truth.

“Each day is different,” John continued. “Each place is new and exotic and a thing to be explored and mastered. And the women are never the same.”

All the men at the table laughed. John openly elbowed her, everyone laughed harder, but at least his arm was no longer riding her intimately. Maybe he hadn’t even noticed or cared.

She remembered that he had left home at sixteen. Could such a man be content at Castle Alderley? Or did he want the money to finance his travels?

She told herself she had always wanted a husband who would go off to court regularly, leaving the running of the estate to her. William would have been such a man.

But strangely, the thought of John doing so made her uneasy and sad now.

Surely she was only missing the life she’d planned with William.

* * *

On the journey home, the cart contained a small coffer of coins, so the guards rode one in front, one behind, as they watched the hills, the hedgerows, and occasional woodland for thieves. The rain had let up, and the setting sun peeked through the low clouds directly ahead of them. Elizabeth shielded her eyes and saw John squinting, but he drove without complaint.

She felt uncomfortable sitting so close beside him. Her nerves were still frayed from the endless touching they’d shared in the tavern, and she found herself sullen that he hadn’t seemed to be bothered. After all, didn’t that prove that he hadn’t really desired her, had been flirting with her only out of necessity?

But then she realized he was sitting at the absolute edge of the cart, as if he didn’t want to touch her either. She tried not to feel too pleased. Surely it was only the beer she’d drunk, giving her fanciful notions.

“What is Lady Elizabeth like?” John suddenly asked.

Taken by surprise, she saw the ghost of her deception rise between them. She reminded herself he deserved it.

“You spent a year living with her,” she said primly.

“And she turned eleven in that time. I barely knew her.”

“And why not?”

“Because she did not have time for me. William was the shining beacon of the family.”

There was irony in his tone that reminded her of the lies he thought his brother capable of. Was John jealous that she had paid no attention to him? Or did he only want her because his brother had her?

“You wanted to spend time with an eleven-year-old girl?” she asked slowly.

“I thought she was…amusing.” He sighed. “And lovely. I am quite certain she grew into a beautiful woman.”

Elizabeth looked down for a moment. “And is beauty so important to you?”

“Nay, although, forgive me if I offend you, but is it to her?”

She stiffened. “I do not understand.”

“She knew nothing about William. He was eight years older than she, and had no time for little girls. But all he had to do was smile at her…” His voice faded away, and then he smiled. “Ah, but I am not perfect. I fear I was the same with her.”

Anyone could say such a thing to win a woman’s favor, she thought. He probably expected her to run tell her mistress, easing the way for him. But still she felt…flustered.

“With me, Lady Elizabeth will not have to worry about other women swooning over the beauty of my face.” He laughed quietly.

Did he want a compliment from her? She didn’t understand his motives, so she didn’t respond to that.

“Lady Elizabeth is an adult,” she said. “She knows a person’s worth is in deeds and speech, not beauty.” Although she felt a little guilty saying that, because William’s beauty had often swayed her. But it was his sensitive, romantic soul she enjoyed the most. “She will not care about the scar on your face.”

“’Tis good. I don’t want her to think I’d frighten our children.”

Children. Elizabeth shivered. She was a woman raised in the countryside, where plenty of animals roamed, and knew some of what was involved in begetting children. She couldn’t even look at him, imagining such intimacies, imagining his nude body.