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“I love when you do that,” he says.
“What?”
“Breathe me in.”
“Do it again, then.”
He twists his grip on my knot, drawing another automatic gasp from me, then he kisses me again. His energy’s totally different after knotting in my mouth. There’s still that wildness to him, but it’s familiar, less frantic and pained. He jacks me off lazily, to the point that he’s edging me.
“Please,” I say.
His eyes flare wide like he just realized he can control me with my cock, using it like a joystick. His naiveté is adorable; it’s like we’re experiencing our firsts since we’re doing it together as alpha and alpha.
“I’ve been thinking,” he says.
“If you’re thinking, I didn’t do my job well enough.”
He shushes me. “I don’t want to knot you.”
Pain punches me in the gut.
“Don’t look at me like that.” He pinches my chin. “I’m not rejecting you. I want you to fuck me first. I want you to knot me.”
“W-what?”
“I don’t know… I’ve never…” He clenches his eyes shut and forces them open again, releasing his grip on my dick.
I cup his cheek and lean in until our foreheads press together. “I’m your best friend, you can tell me anything.”
He nods, grounding us both with the friction of it.
My pulse races. I don’t know what he’s going to say, but I’m afraid it will change everything or break the fragile connection we’ve just built.
Finally, he says, “I’ve never had sex. I don’t know if I’m demisexual. I thought I was. I thought that was why only you turned me on so much, so I blamed it on that. I’m demi and you’re my best friend. Of course I’d be attracted to you. Of course you’d haunt every single one of my wet dreams.”
I stroke his temple with my thumb. All this time, he’s never had sex? He usually spends his ruts alone, but I know he’s dated. I’ve met a few omegas over the years. I guess, I just assumed. “Sweetheart…”
His eyes widen like the pet name surprised him. It didn’t surprise me, though. My best friend needs tenderness right now.
“I tried taking it slow with other omegas, getting to know them. I tried pushing through it, even. I’ve gotten pretty close, but I wasn’t doing it because I wanted to. I was doing it because I was supposed to, and when I didn’t like it, I treated it like any other unanswered question.
“If I do X, will I feel Y? I experimented. A lot. But nothing worked. I broke a few omega hearts, and then I stopped trying.
“No one else has ever turned me on. No one. No scent ever turned my head. Only you. Only vetiver…”
“Until Elliott?”
“Yeah, and I don’t know what that means. I don’t know why my body reacted to him when I don’t know fuck all about him.”
“He’s the first omega you’ve ever felt that way about, and you still let me have him?”
He nods.
“Because you love me?”
“Because I love you,” he agrees.
He pauses, searching my gaze, assessing my reaction.
