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Sucked. It was a strange choice of slang-words to mean a lack of ability among the humans. What did suction have to do with that? It didn’t make sense. I’d use it, because familiarity with human customs and slang was important to me, but it still bothered me that even the all-knowing internet did not agree on the etymology of the term.

Someone sat down on the bar stool beside me. I could tell from the thickly muscled legs that it was an orc, but looking up I was surprised to see it was Eng.

“I fucked up,” he said in Orcish.

It was no surprise that this arrogant entitled asshole had fucked up. That he admitted it, and admitted it to me? That was surprising.

“You’re talking to me?” I asked, not sure if I was supposed to respond or pretend I didn’t hear Eng. Maybe he’d made the statement to himself in a rare moment of self-reflection.

“Yes. I fucked up and I need to know how to fix it, and you know more about humans than the others do.”

Had he fallen and hit his head? Eng was coming to me for help in solving his problems? The orc wasn’t close with any members of the team, or any humans that I could see, so he’d probably picked one of us at random, and I’d been unlucky enough to have an empty bar stool beside me.

“Okaaaay.” I eyed Eng and debated whether I should find a reason to be elsewhere right now.

“First, what is the name of Ozar’s mate’s friend,” he demanded.

A combination of anger and panic flooded me. Eng didn’t know anyone’s name. He never bothered because we were all beneath him. The only reason he’d want to know a human female’s name is if she’d somehow passed his insanely picky list of attributes a female needed to have to qualify as a possible bride and princess candidate.

Abby would make an amazing princess. She was beautiful, and her smile enchanted everyone, human and orc. Her voice made every word a song. She would be gracious and caring to her subjects, and her love would warm even Eng’s heart. But the thought of her with another nearly pushed me to the point of violence.

Maybe Eng meant someone else. He probably thought Ozar’s mate was different human female, because to him, they mostly looked the same.

“Jordan’s friend?” I asked, just to be sure.

Eng waved a hand. “Yes. Jordan’s friend. The beautiful one.”

The air left my lungs and I struggled to fill them. “Abby Anton.”

Why had I given him her name? I should have lied and made something up, or told him the name of one of the entertainer-humans in the magazines.

Eng frowned for a moment, and I hoped that he would find her name not-princess-enough.

“This Abby Anton is going to be my bride, so I need to know how to woo her,” he announced with complete confidence.

It was confidence I lacked. I’d delayed, tried to attract Abby’s interest without wooing her, because rejection would crush me, and this in-between-state meant I could always have hope. But if Eng pursued her, there would be no hope. He was a good-looking orc. He was the prince of the only kingdom in the orc world. He had coin, and servants, and could provide her with everything I couldn’t. If he wooed Abby, then all was lost.

“No!” I nearly knocked my stool over as I jumped to my feet. “You can’t marry her! I’m…I…. She would make a terrible princess.”

That was a lie, but I’d do anything to keep Eng away from the female I desperately loved.

“I know,” he said, and I wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or offended on my beloved’s behalf. But then he continued. “I don’t care. We are like fire in the furs together, and unlike many humans or orcs, I can actually hold a conversation with her without falling asleep.”

He’d been in the furs with her? He’d visited her garden? He’d plumbed her warm depths with his hand axe? I saw red, as the human stories said. Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to punch Eng, make him bleed, maybe even kill him. But even if I managed to land a blow, I’d never win, not against Eng. I needed him to cross Abby off his potential princess list.

“You can’t,” I spluttered. “She’s…she’ll never leave the human world. Never. So you can’t marry her. You have duties as a prince back home, and you need a female who is willing to go back with you.”

None of those things mattered to me. There was nothing back home that required me to return. And while I found the human world perplexing and difficult, I loved a challenge. Here, I could learn and discover new fascinating things.

Here I could spend my life with Abby, even if I could only watch her from afar.

Eng frowned, and for a few long seconds I hoped this would be what the humans called a deal-breaker.

“That’s not a problem,” he finally said.

No! I could not allow this! Frantic, I said the one thing I knew Eng could not tolerate in a bride.

“She’s…she’s…infertile.”