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Unbearably Yours

Page 50

by Elodie Colliard

“When don’t you have to do that when you’re a woman?” I muse. “I have yet to find somewhere I don’t need to battle for my rightful place.”

Emma raises her beer. “Amen, sister.” She looks around. “Where is Oliver?”

“In our cabin. I don’t think he’s coming.”

She takes a sip of her beer. “He acted a bit weird earlier. Never seen anybody leave that fast.”

I focus on a point behind her. “I don’t know either . . .”

She eyes me suspiciously. “You do know.”

“I don’t!”

“Your cheeks are redder than your hair, and you can’t look me in the eye. Worst liar ever. What’s going on?”

I really don’t want to get into it, but maybe I can keep it short and sweet, enough for Emma not to ask a thousand follow-up questions. “Oliver and I have a complicated history. We knew each other when we were in college and had a falling out.” More like he broke my trust and my heart, then ghosted me. “It’s the first time I’ve spoken to him since.”

She lets out a long whistle. “Damn, I didn’t see that one coming. You and the hot nerd, huh?”

“Nothing happened.” I sink deeper into my seat. “Just two lonely college kids who needed each other at the time, I suppose. It’s just weird to be here with him. I’m not looking forward to spending all this time together.”

Emma hums, lost in her thoughts. After a while, she looks at me. “You know, I had someone like that once. We went to high school together but lost touch over the years, and suddenly, three years later, here he is on my Instagram followers suggestion list, looking hot as hell. Next thing I know, he DMs me and we grab some drinks. Everything is magical, we decide to start dating, and two years later, I learn that he was cheating on me.”

Fucking idiot. Cheating is unforgivable, but to cheat on a once-in-a-lifetime woman like Emma? “You are so much better without him.”

I can’t figure out what she’s getting at. It’s not really a happy story, is it?

“I know, I’m fine. It was a long time ago. But that’s not my point. Point is, had the asshole not done what he did, had I not agreed to go out on a date with him, I would never have understood that I was strong enough to handle losing him, handle him betraying me. I would never have discovered the woman I became after that or the lines I decided to draw for future relationships.”

If only she knew the losses I’ve already endured. I know who I am and what I’m made of. Oliver made sure of that. And so did losing my mom when she was still so young. It left indelible scars.

“I’m glad you found yourself after that jerk, but I don’t need Oliver to help me do that.”

Emma quirks an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Don’t you believe that people come into your life at certain moments for a reason? Don’t you think you deserve to find out why? Why now? How did you end up working on this project with someone you hadn’t spoken to in years? Aren’t you the slightest bit curious about the meaning behind it?”

Her flurry of questions makes my head spin with questions I’ve never allowed myself to ask before.

I lower my eyes to my hands folded on my lap. After a while, I whisper, “I don’t know.”

“That’s enough for me.”

When I look at her, Emma is grinning like she knows she got me right where she wanted. Questioning just enough to have me doubting.

When I open the door to the cabin an hour later, I’m met with absolute silence. Except for the million questions screaming in my head, courtesy of Emma.

“Oliver, you here?”

Nothing but those damn questions.

Fine. If he wants to hide all night, he can be my guest. I won’t be crying a river about it.

I grab the hat and gloves from my backpack and wrap a long cotton scarf around my shoulders and neck. By the time I left the common area, the evening had slipped into cold twilight, the frosty sky twinkling with all the stars I can’t see from Toronto.

I open the patio door and step outside. The crisp air instantly chills my cheeks and nose, and my lungs expand as I take a deep breath, my mind cooling and my thoughts calming under the musky scent of the forest.

It’s been a long time since I felt like this. Lost. A compass with the north arrow pointing south.

I gaze up at the sky. Looking at this immensity, I feel insignificant. Nothing matters in the grand scheme of things, does it? We’re just specks of dust floating around, giving ourselves a purpose before we’re nothing but a glimmer in the sky.