Page 37 of Unbearably Yours

“Have to be when you live where I do.” I nod to her hand when she grabs the peas. “I can help you with that, if you want. It looks swollen and a bit red on the side. I can take a look at it, see if anything’s broken.”

She blinks. “I’m fine. I can do it myself.”

“I know. I was just offering.”

“And I answered.” Her eyes show no mercy when they land on me.

I bear the blow without flinching, but some part of me feels like giving up already. She’s too damn stubborn, too damn hurt, too damn furious for me to even bring up the subject. I know her, despite what she might think. I know her so deeply, it sometimes feels like her reactions, her emotions, are my own.

What I did was the highest betrayal of all, and in her mind, there’s no coming back from that. But still, some foolish part of me is holding out hope that there’s a way forward, however hidden it may be right now.

When I open my mouth, it’s that part of me that speaks out. “I meant it when I told you I didn’t know you were the journalist they were sending, Charlee. But I’m glad you pursued your dream and became as successful as you are today. You deserve every bit of it.”

She stands up a bit too quickly and sways, but she manages to keep the pea bag resting on her left hand. “You don’t know what I deserve or don’t deserve. You don’t know me anymore, and you have no right to have a say in my successes or failures. You don’t get to waltz in here and tell me whether I’m worthy of my own career when you didn’t even fucking bother to stay in my life.”

Her words are slurred, barely understandable, but they hurt all the same.

She doesn’t leave me time to answer, not that I would have found anything to say to that anyway. She closes the bedroom door behind her, and I stand alone in my kitchen, shattered to my bones.

Toronto, December 1, 2017

Hey Oli,

Reading you was like a hug around my heart. Thank you.

Oli, I can’t believe that you made the necklace yourself. This is the most beautiful pendant I have ever seen. The details??? How?? This must have taken you days to create. And for me? You don’t even know how much it means to me.

I snapped a photo while wearing it, but I didn’t show my face. I like the mystery between us. I love having this idea of you in my mind and keeping you a surprise until the last moment. It makes this whole thing so unique.

So here you go, just my neck. I wanted you to see how well it fits me. Thank you so much for this beautiful gift, Oli. I love it so much.

June works for me. College will be done by then too. How should we do this? Maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle. Although there’s nothing really exciting about Manitoba . . . I’d be down to go to Alberta! I’ve never been, and the Canadian Rockies are begging for me to come and explore them. We could make a whole trip out of it too, maybe go hiking? I don’t think I’ll be working next summer, so if you drive to Alberta, don’t mind me jumping in the car and going back with you to Pine Falls. A full summer there sounds like a dream. I’ll go hiking and exploring every single day and could help you at the restaurant too. Maybe I’ll even spot a few spirit bears and say hi. Have you seen any?

Gosh, I can’t wait! I’m already thinking about all the things I can bring with me.

In other news, you won’t believe what Riley did. I want to strangle her. One of Sean’s friends has a single younger brother, and Riley thought it’d be the best idea in the entire world to set me up on a date with him. Apparently, he loves to be in nature, and that character trait was somehow enough for her to be like “Ah, yes! Perfect for Charlee.”

Sooo, I might have a date tonight. I hate it. I don’t want to go, but I told Riley I’d make an effort for her. Since Mom’s health has been going downhill, Riley’s been worrying about me like crazy. She’s always been motherly with me, but right now, she’s smothering. She worries that I’ll just close myself up—and to be fair, she’s not wrong—but there’s really nobody other than you I’d want to spend my time with. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised? I doubt it, but who knows.