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“I know this will seem surprising but I think you made me realise that I needed to change. You spoke very passionately about the importance of family when we were in Hertfordshire. It was unusual and downright surprising for a young lady to openly talk about her relations in trade. Once I came to understand the circumstances it made more sense but frankly I had been exposed for too many years to the attitude evidenced by Caroline Bingley. The desperate desire to hide the ‘taint of trade’.”
Elizabeth laughed.
“Yes, I made no effort to hide the stench of trade.”
“But you always talked about it within the context of helping family. I did not encourage Georgie to seek you out while Richard and I were in Kent but she wanted to hear about it as well. It is the differences in our upbringings. I could throw money at a problem and solve it. You, nor your family, were able to do such a thing and so you acted. I know you do not see it as a sacrifice but you spent four years working very hard to support your family. But again, I do not think this was in my conscious mind. Rather I believe it was lurking in my subconscious. During the month at Pemberley I spent many hours thinking about my future, the need to marry, provide an heir.”
They both blushed and Darcy hurried on.
“I had been an eligible bachelor for seven years, ever since reaching my majority. And the last three years had been the worst of them. That I was still single appeared to be a challenge to every mama of the Ton. You know that I am not my best in large social situations but I knew that I had to make an effort. But a week or so after I returned to London and allowed Aunt Susan to guide my invitations, our paths crossed again.”
His smile was wide and Elizabeth was treated to the sight of his dimples, at a very close distance. Her face flushed and her heart beat much faster. Fitzwilliam Darcy was a very handsome man.
“I did not know what I wanted back at the end of January, although I could have told you what I did not want. Richard and I talked about you once. He mentioned that you should not have been at some of the events, and it was only through your connection with Lady Maria that you were attending. Do not look concerned, because I think it is fundamental to our current happiness. You were open, unassuming and scrupulous in not behaving like a grasping, social climbing, fortune hunter. Again, Caroline Bingley springs to mind. Could she have been friendly yet appropriate with Desmond? Not if she practiced every day for a year. That is your special gift. And somewhere during the last two months you captured my heart. Now it was a sneak attack and I was unaware at the time, but it is the truth. I too thought about us last night, I could hardly do otherwise. I do not know when I fell in love with you, I was in the middle of it and did not even realise.
“Why you? You are intelligent, beautiful, outgoing, which is a wonderful counterpart to my own shy nature, well-read, kind, the list goes on.”
“Did Uncle Gardiner’s elevation play a part?”
Darcy sighed.
“My sigh is because I do not know. You are the daughter of a gentleman, you are proud of your relations in trade, yet that previous stigma, the taint or stench of trade, is no longer so important. It is clear that times are changing, slowly perhaps, but changing nonetheless.”
Elizabeth squeezed his arm as they walked.
“An honest answer, thank you.”
“We will always be honest Eliz…”
Darcy paused.
“I was about to say your name. Can we agree to that?”
“Please. I do notice that you are called Darcy by your family.”
“To call me by my first name is to invite confusion. Georgiana calls me William.”
Elizabeth tasted the name on her tongue.
“William. I like that.”
She was treated to a dimple appearance again.
“Is there anything else you wish to talk about from my side?”
She shook her head and took a deep breath.
“I will try and relate my story in a coherent manner but I know there will be points that need to be explored more thoroughly. Let us go all the way back to July of ’07 and the day of the accident. This will all become clear, because I have given this sentence a great deal of thought. Every Christmas my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner came to visit, and within the first hour of every one of those visits my mother said the following sentence.
‘Mr. Collins will turn us out before Mr. Bennet is cold in his grave, and if you are not kind to us, brother, I do not know what we shall do.’
It was this sentence I thought of immediately when we received the dreadful news. My mother expected her brother to save her but who was going to save the Gardiners? I did not ask so much as tell my parents that I was moving to London to take over running the Gardiner house. That is the start and it is key to many other events.”
Another sigh and Darcy watched Elizabeth square her shoulders.
“We are engaged William and so I am going to be completely honest with you. Other than to my uncle, and Claire and Robert, I have never spoken of this. But we are to be a family and as you said, we will always be honest.”
Just those three sentences alone had myriad questions forming in Darcy’s mind. He momentarily placed his hand over hers and gently squeezed.
