Page 104

“True, I grant you. But I wish I knew more about her, what was her background?”

They only knew the bare facts; the widow of an officer on a merchantman who worshipped at the same church as the Gardiners. Mr. Bennet changed the direction of the discussion.

“I have thought back over every conversation with Lizzie that I can recall and she gave no indication of this honour being considered. It was the same with the Christmas letter. Sir William was only knighted but I asked him after church one day as to how long he knew before it was announced. He told me that he did not receive much notice at all, less than two weeks was what he recalled. The decision to grant a baronetcy is much more significant and was probably considered for several months. Knowing Gardiner, I would not expect him to mention it to anyone until it was announced.”

Fanny Bennet wanted to blame her wayward daughter but she could see the truth of this explanation.

“We should write and let him know that we are going to visit.”

“It will appear mercenary.”

“Mercenary! We are his family and should share in his good fortune.”

Suppressing a sigh, he prevaricated.

“I will consider that. Let us await his response to your letter first. They only have space for one person, the house on Gracechurch Street is much smaller than Longbourn. They do not have the rooms to accommodate all six of us. And there is the issue of Lizzie living there as well.”

Thomas Bennet tuned out his wife’s usual tirades about Elizabeth and shortly thereafter ushered out of his study. But Fanny Bennet had the bit between her teeth and was not going to let go. She addressed the topic at the dining table.

“I am going to write to my brother Gardiner and request that we visit, perhaps after Easter.”

Mary watched the reactions round the table. Her father had a brief look of annoyance before carefully adjusting his face to its usual bland indifference.

“I want to visit all the best modistes while in London. Now that uncle is a Baronet I want to look my best when meeting the officers.”

Mary mentally rolled her eyes, Lydia was nothing if not predictable; greedy, self-centred and still obsessed with Redcoats. She ignored Kitty, it was just a repetition of Lydia’s statement and instead looked over at Jane. The look of confusion and sadness on her face was not hidden. Mary watched as Jane excused herself and retired upstairs. Mary followed a moment later.

“Jane, are you well? You seem upset.”

“Come in Mary and sit down. I am not ill, just very. I do not know the right word to end that sentence. Confused, unsure, worried, pick any or all of them.”

“May I ask why you feel that way?”

“Lizzie, how I treated her in the last month she was here at Longbourn. What the elevation of Uncle Gardiner will mean for the family. The way Mama and Papa act. How our two youngest sisters act. How is that to be getting on with?”

Mary watched her sister, not immediately responding. This was a different Jane to normal.

“You seem to have changed. You would never criticise anyone before, yet you have raised the behaviour of most of the members of the family.”

Mary sat in silence waiting for her sister to respond. The silence stretched close to a minute before Jane spoke in a quiet voice.

“I allowed my jealousy of Lizzie to get the better of me.”

This first sentence was followed by another long pause.

“Both Charlotte and I were jealous of the freedom Lizzie had in London. It makes us both look small and petty but we have acknowledged it to ourselves. It is why she has accepted Mr. Collins, despite his many and obvious flaws. And I allowed myself to dream about Mr. Bingley and had hopes that he would allow me to escape from Longbourn. When he left and did not return I was devastated. Miss Bingley’s letter suggested that he was close to being engaged to someone else, implying that I was nothing more than a momentary dalliance. I took my disappointment out on Lizzie, despite Miss Bingley’s attacks against our family. It was only as she hugged me goodbye that it hit me; she was not coming back. So most of my concerns are nothing to do with Uncle Gardiner’s wonderful news but rather the cold hard reality of my life here in Hertfordshire.

“I am the sister that can keep the peace, the daughter that can calm our mother. But it has done me no favours. I will twist myself into a tangled rope finding excuses for poor behaviour, especially within the family. I am sad that it took until I was unkind to Lizzie for me to see that I was doing myself, and the family, a disservice acting that way. I am now dealing with all of these new thoughts swirling in my head and when Charlotte leaves for Kent as Mrs. Collins I do not know what this year will bring for me.”

Mary pulled her sister to her feet and wrapped her in a hug, not letting go until Jane’s quiet tears had ebbed.

“Thank you, I did not realise I needed that. Can I know your thoughts please?”

“The first two things are really easy. Write a short letter of congratulations to Uncle Gardiner. Now that I think of it, write a short letter to young Edward as well. Be his older cousin, tease him about being more eligible now. Maybe ask if he has matchmaking mamas after him. Just be your usual kind self. The other letter is of course going to be much harder. But you should write to Lizzie, confess all and apologise. You know that she values family and the two of you were close for the first 16 years of her life. Yes, your relationship will be different now, but it does not mean that you cannot remain close sisters.”

It was Mary’s turn to be pulled into a hug. Although it was short her ribs still creaked from the tight squeeze.

“Oof, you do not know your strength.”