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“No, of course not. Like I said, it’s complicated. We flirt and now we’ve hooked up.” I check out the pinky-red color and nod assent to my tech. “I haven’t seen him since the oral sex stuff. He’s been in Los Angeles with his son. We’ve still been communicating, though. Emailing drafts back and forth. Neither of us has brought up what happened.” My eyes flicker with a bit of repressed insecurity. “I’m trying to play it cool. Pretend a situationship like this is normal. Truthfully, my whole chest feels like it’s about to cave in.”
Priya goes quiet, which is rare and never good. “Okay. I’m about to be a real friend and you’re going to hate it. How old? Don’t fucking lie to me.”
“Fifty-six.”
“Fifty-six.” She whistles through her teeth. “Bestie. He’s thirty-four years older than you. He grew up in different century. He probably already had his own kids when you were born.”
Tears fill my eyes. When Priya utters the truth out loud, it sounds absurd.
He can’t be the man for me.
Still…
“I love you, Elodie. Please don’t cry.” Priya cups my cheek with her free hand. “Screw what he wants. Do you really see a future with this man?” She tilts her head. “Honestly, it’s giving Bill Belichick and Jordon Hudson and we were just making fun of them a month ago.”
I sniff loudly. She’s so right. “God, what am I thinking—”
“Right? When you’re thirty-six, he’s seventy. You can’t seriously want to spend your thirties driving this guy to his cardiology appointments? Or wiping his ass while your friends are on baby number two? Are you gonna forget about having your own children because he already has a grown family? Is this the love story you want?”
“I dunno.” My shoulders slump forward. “If I’m honest, it’s probably not an option anyway. I doubt he’s into me the same way I’m into him.”
“Look, for one second stop worrying about what he wants. I asked what you want.” Priya pats my back. “Say you could manifest your greatest wish. If he walked in here right now and asked you to be his girlfriend, what answer comes out of your mouth?”
“I’d say yes. The cardiology, the casket, all of it. I’d say yes so fast it would scare us both.”
“Hmmmm.” Priya flexes her fingers as she admires her finished nails. “Well, shit. What’s the worst that could happen? Throw caution to the wind. Get him to fuck you. Maybe you buck the odds and he catches feelings after he has your magical, youthful pussy and you go off into the sunset together. At the very least, you’ll have incredible sex with a hot old man. When it runs its course, you can go about your life.”
It’s terrible advice. The worst she’s ever given me. You don’t hook a rockstar like Beau simply by having sex with him.
Ugh. We’ve got our presentation tomorrow. At the very least, maybe we can talk. I definitely want to stay in touch.
I look at my nails, glossy and cured under the light. Apparently, the pinky-red color I chose is called “Sweet Goodbye.”
Ugh. It’s a sign.
“The smart thing to do would be cut this off before I get hurt.”
Priya raises her little plastic cup of complimentary prosecco and taps it against mine. “True. It’s a good plan. You’re too hot to settle for grandpa.”
“Yeah.” I jut my chin out. “You’re right. He’s out.”
We clink.
Even though both of us know I’m lying.
ten
The Following Week
Theo’s minor romantic crisis helped me put the brakes on things with Elodie.
Thank God.
I promised Yolanda I’d be there for my son. When he called, I immediately took the band’s jet to LA and spent some quality time with him. Everything seems to be back on track and it gave me the space to realize I can’t allow the situation with Elodie to escalate further.
If we had continued to spend time together in our private spaces as Professor Halverson required, there’s no doubt in my mind we’d be fucking. With no future, it would only lead to one place.
Heartbreak. Disappointment.
