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We stagnated in a moment of awe as Drak’s soul slowly burned a hole in the ship. I didn’t see it coming when Goat wrenched his arm and lifted me over the side of the boat. In one breath, I went from staring at my husband’s soul to plunging into the frigid black water.

Screams echoed around me before everything was muffled and my lungs filled with seawater.

I swore I heard Goat laugh as he said, “The Drowning will take care of her.”

Lux

The Drowning will take care of her.

Except that I couldn’t die until Ragnarok, so I’d endure this pain over and over, almost dying, while suffering the horror of drowning and yet never passing into the next life.

Terror sank its claws into my ribs as water flushed into my nose and ears, and panic continued to claw through my chest, where the ocean would soon replace all the air I had left. The Drowning had her way with me, like a cruel mistress suffocating me for no reason other than the joy of watching me suffer.

But I never backed down from a fight.

Disoriented, I didn’t know where I should even attempt to swim, and it took entirely too long for me to stop thrashing, but I would not give up. My flailing arms and legs only pushed me deeper and deeper beneath the surface. Drukna’s darkness flooded my world, and though I forced my eyes open against the sting of salt and debris, nothing but black surrounded me. Only above did I make out the glint of moonlight reflecting across the water’s surface.

If only I had a fragment of Drak’s soul with me, his light would guide me. Thankfully, the moonlight helped, and if Drukna allowed, I only had to swim up, up, up; but she wouldn’t let me go that easily.

I swore some kind of beast wrapped around my legs and dragged me further into the depths because my body grew heavier, and the force of the water hammered me down. I squeezed my eyes shut and released the smallest bubble of air before forcing myself to look up at the surface again. Just swim. I’d survived worse, fighting bloodthirsty vampires—fighting Odin himself when he was Hel-bent on destroying me and Drak. This, too, I would fight through.

But Drukna seemed to laugh at my resolve because each time I thrust myself toward air and freedom, and almost broke through the surface, the pressure of another wave shoved me back beneath the surface where the water’s pull held me under. Blackness spotted my vision, and my head spun, desperate for air to think clearly and to move my arms and legs with enough force to fight back before my eternity became a swirl of unconsciousness at the whims of the sea.

Please.

With one last kick upward and to freedom, I stretched my fingers, just barely breaking the surface until I finally thrust upward, and my face burst above the water. But Drukna was not done yet. As I drew a gulp of air, water interrupted me, crashing over my head and knocking me down, filling my mouth with salt.

What if Axel is wrong? What if I lack the strength for Odin’s immortality? What if I can die?

I failed again.

Just give in.

You didn’t sit on the throne.

You’re pitifully afraid.

You’re useless.

I had no energy to battle my nerves when they cropped up in my worst moments, never fully disappearing even if I had learned to calm them. But they no longer controlled my decisions.

Hel, this couldn’t be the end because I wouldn’t allow it. To yield now and allow Drukna to drown me until the World's End would sever my connection with Drak forever. It didn’t matter that I’d learned rebirth before; it didn’t matter that I’d somehow found a way out of Folkvangr, because I wouldn’t remember a man whose soul no longer existed except in pieces. And if I did, it’d be too late to restore him.

Grief drained me, not for my own death, but for our separation and for the loss of a life that we both deserved.

Drak…

His rough voice and rougher beard materialized in my mind in my last moments of awareness, urging ‌me not to give up. I swam harder. Despite using all my strength to push towards the surface, and though it seemed useless, I didn’t stop, even when I no longer felt my arms and legs. Somehow they kept swimming.

A bright light burst through the darkness above me. Blinding and beautiful, the crystal plunged into the water from beneath the shadow of the ship. His soul had burned completely through the wood, flaming as brightly as fire as it fell toward me.

Treading beneath the surface, I clasped his soul, feeling its warmth spark a tingling energy across my skin, or perhaps it simply filled me with hope.

Yes, this was hope.

Drak was telling me not to surrender to Drukna just as I hadn’t given in to the executioners who almost removed my head from my shoulders, or to the gods, or even to him. Fuck all of that and fuck The Drowning.

With his soul in my hand, I kicked and swam, finally surging toward the surface and breaking free of Drukna’s grasp. Throwing my head back, I drank in the night air, fresh and perfect, into my raw throat. Coughing seized me as I tread water, but I’d won this fight.