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‘Girl, look – if you’re serious about this, you need to make a serious list. What do you want? Do you even know?’

‘I…’

‘Fuck. You’re frustrating,’ Delilah groans as she massages her temples.

‘Look, I’m… yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. Not really. But can’t I just not know for a while? Is that not okay? I mean shit, why do I have to have it all figured out right now. Why can’t I just⁠—’

‘Have fun?’ Delilah supplies.

‘Yeah.’ My shoulders fall.

Much of her viciousness recedes and Delilah nods reluctantly. ‘I get it, Miller. I do. We all want to have fun. Just… you have to be safe while you do it.’

Why do people keep telling me this?

‘Because you get the most hurt when there’s no safety net beneath you.’

She has a point. Although I didn’t think I’d asked aloud.

Chapter Twenty-Two

The Eternal Fields

‘Maybe we should hang back a minute.’

‘Why?’ I ask over my shoulder as I grab my bag from the boot.

‘It is looking very tense over there.’ Delilah’s eyes flit to the side of the house. I can’t hear much, but there’s definitely yelling. Lavender has her branches crossed over her chest. She’s looking at Walker like she’d like to flick him into the forest. Walker looks… I don’t know how he looks, actually. I’ve never seen that expression on him.

‘Don’t you want to know what they’re arguing about?’

Delilah looks at me and shakes her head. ‘Do you respect any boundaries?’

I shrug.

‘You can go, I’m not getting involved in all that.’ She nods to where Lavender is now waving her branches wildly. Delilah lights up, and I pinch a drag before heading over.

‘If you’ll remember, this was your idea. You were the one who suggested⁠—’

‘Yes. And that is a mistake that I will have to carry. But this has gone far enough. You were never even meant to engage. You were here purely for surveillance. It was never meant to be you—’ Lavender chastises until she sees me coming.

Walker spots me first. His green eyes hold mine long enough I know I don’t want to know whatever it is they’re fighting about. Lav is next. She won’t pretend. She’s looking at me like she’s watching a puppy about to get kicked.

‘What’s wrong?’

She opens her mouth, but Walker stops her with a look. Not even a particularly menacing one. In fact, it’s more like…

‘Walk with me?’ he asks, that same pleading look straining his voice.

I nod and follow along beside him.

I look back at Lavender. She won’t meet my eye.

‘What was that about?’ I ask as we begin towards the forest.

I watch his throat bob. ‘A difference of opinion.’

‘Of?’