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‘Stop that,’ I chided. ‘Here, use this instead.’

‘What’s this for?’ She held up the small vial I passed her and frowned.

‘Your snot,’ I say matter-of-factly, ‘I’ve met a great wizard who—oof.’

Tilly huffs a laugh and shoves my shoulder, rolling her eyes. ‘You and that bloody wizard.’

Not our best running bit, but it was enough to take the sting out of her eyes for a few minutes.

‘I just,’ she sniffed, retreating back into her sadness. ‘I just don’t understand why. Why did they change their mind? I thought—’ Tilly’s voice cracking breaks my heart. It was the closest she’d ever come to being adopted, and the applicants had withdrawn the day before it was finalised. It had to hit her hard. I’d never even been considered for adoption so I wouldn’t know the feeling. But just looking at her made my heart lurch with remorse. I pulled her into me. Her arms wrapped around my waist as she burrowed her head in my neck and cried.

‘You’ll always have me, Tils. You know that right?’ I say into the top of her frizzy head. The heat, a menace to her curly locks. Tilly looked up at me with those big wide eyes, her mouth dropped open in a little ‘o’ shape, and the gap in her teeth peaked as she considered me. She nodded, once, uncertain, and then twice, decisive. Tilly pulled herself up and said, ‘Promise.’ With her pinkie outstretched.

‘Is that an offer or a threat?’

‘Miller—’

‘Of course I promise,’ I said, snagging the digit with my own. ‘As long as I’m living, I’ll be here for you… maybe even after too.’

‘I thought you said you’re going to piss off to the North Star when you die.’

Yes. Well, I also said I was going to ride it like a dragon into the next life, but I was a child then. Technically, I was still a child in this memory – I was only fifteen. But by about twelve I’d clocked that anyone born human had drawn the short straw. I doubted I’d have any time for dragon riding beyond my busy schedule of decomposition. In a world that is constantly changing yet remains unchanged, there are two things that will always stay the same – the city and its immortal occupants are always in charge and they are always busy. Far too busy to ever wonder where all the humans go after they die. There are some that tell themselves there’s something more for mortals after death. I think I outgrew that belief after I saw they were the same people that believed mortals and immortals were treated equally. How could there be more for us in death, when there was barely anything for us in life? Not exactly an omen of prosperity there.

‘No.’ And then, with consideration I added, ‘I think I’ll stay on and move your books out from alphabetisation one day at a time.’

‘You wouldn’t,’ she said, horrified – you’d think I just threatened to headbutt an elf.

‘Come on, let’s get out of here. I’m sweating my tits off.’ She giggled, and I took it as my cue to carry on. ‘I’m serious, I think I’ve gone down a cup size,’ I say, cupping my chest.

‘I didn’t know they made anything smaller than a AA.’

‘Take that back, you wench.’

‘Nah. Your tits are small, and they stink.’

‘You’re not cute,’ I lie.

‘No, but I am funny.’ She twists out of reach and begins to jog ahead of me when I try to swat her.

‘Tilly!’ I call after her. If I stuck around in this memory, next I’d run and twist my ankle, next she’d help me limp home. Next, we’d fall asleep gossiping about the wizard and how we’d manipulate him to escape from this wretched town. But no, this is where the memory ends. She sprints ahead through the bush and her laughter fades into the distance. As the dream swirls and spins like water circling a drain, I swear I see twin green orbs peering through the darkness, studying me.

Bells tinker on my way out the door from the vet clinic. A defeated sigh escapes my lips. As it turns out, the hunt is actually more of a kind of bird-watching situation. I see the jobs, I know they’re there – it’s just that they’re proving rather illusive. Okay – the first one was totally my fault. Note to self: do not ask when the baby’s due unless you know without fail there is indeed a baby expected. Rookie mistake. So, you know – that ruled out the pole dancing joint. Bummer, ’cause I thought it’d be fun, but also probably for the best, since I lied – I in fact cannot work a pole like a champ.

The second place I approached, well… I genuinely think that was just rough luck. I walked in at the same time a crocodilian-shifter did, to apply for the role of lifeguard for the local swamp. Again, probably a good thing. I don’t think anyone could have out-qualified him, and you know – lives are at stake. Although I did find him a little snappy.

The bike shop guy was a misogynist. So, yeah. Didn’t manage to swing the vote on that one.

The grocer only hires pixies since they work for so little.

It’s only so long before the midday sun catches up with me. Stars, why is it so fucking hot all the time? I pull at the collar of my shirt, feeling like a damp noose is pulling around my neck. I feel like I’ve sweated out all the liquids in my body.

I trudge my way to the end of the street and down to the corner store. Thankfully avoiding the welcome mat’s ploy to trip me up. I make a beeline for the freezer section and swing the doors open to cool down. Grabbing a Ripples Roseraid, I push the cool plastic against my cheek and exhale.

I’m screwed if I don’t get a job.

And not even just, like, screwed in the monetary aspect, but like screwed as in I can’t be left to my own devices for long periods of time. I can’t do it. I cannot be left idle or I just get really sad and start to think about how alone I am and all of my failures in life and then⁠—

‘You planning on buying that, or just wiping your sweat on it?’