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As I watch my dad walk out, I start wondering if he’s also proud of me and my Atè because we take our education seriously, because in his eyes, I’m making the most out of the one gem he finds sacred. Now, I’m back to the girl who makes her parents proud, studying as if she’s taking the exam right now. If my parents saw me almost falling asleep, they’d think I’m a terrible daughter. A child with no utang na loob. My heart shatters imagining these words coming from them.

Suddenly, my phone chimes. It’s Jase.

Jase: Ready for tmrw?

Me: Kinda have to be

Jase’s next message comes with an attachment to a song titled “exam time.” I expect a relaxing forty-second song that’s perfect for studying, but instead the track has a melody made up of a heavy strumming of strings that crescendo to more aggressive strokes.

Me: Not exactly good for studying but def captures the pre-exam anxiety.

Jase: Thats what Im going for! ;)

Jase: Added 10 more secs to a song. Maybe we can get some breakfast at morning starters tmrw and I can show it to you.

I blush with a heat that the summer sun can’t rival. Is Jase asking me out? That’s the downside to being single since birth. I can never tell what’s a romantic invitation and what’s a friendly one.

I go with the latter and text: Sure!

Jase: 7AM sound good?

Me: Works for me!

Jase: Sweet! See u then!

With my phone, I snap a photo from my final portfolio—it’s of my old Filipino picture book that’s torn up but still shelved between my YA Fantasy books—and text it to Jase. I explain that I played around with highlights and contrast.

Me: Just bc it’s torn doesn’t mean its ruined. The story is still there, and that’s the part I love.

Me: If you’re ever feeling down about your music or yourself, just remember all the good things. Even if there are rough edges, something beautiful still exists.

Jase: Thanks needed to hear this :)

I curl my fingers into my palm and smile into my knuckles. Warmth blankets my heart. Never thought I’d have this effect on a cool guy like Jase. It’s delightful, exciting.

Jase: Gn. Have sweet dreams of anything that isn’t studying.

Me: Goodnight. Have sweet dreams of anything that isn’t slacking off.

It’s cheesy of me to send this message, and when Jase replies, I expect him to reaffirm this. But like so much else with him, he surprises me.

For another hour, I study with a silly smile on my face.

But as I sleep, that image of my dad leaving my room still clear in my head, I toss and turn, thinking, not dreaming, of studying and presenting.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Are Jase and I on a date?

Between bites of my spinach and egg breakfast sandwich, it’s hard not to notice that the only other customers at Morning Starters are an elderly couple sitting on the opposite side.

“As promised,” Jase begins, breaking me out of my thoughts and handing me his phone, “I wrote ten more seconds to a song.”

“Yay!” I cheer.

After quizzing each other on SAT questions—I asked him ones I made up while he asked me ones from the textbook—it’s nice to listen to his latest extension. And I can’t wait to show him, and the elderly couple, one of my photos. I like these exchanges between me and Jase. It’s our way of learning about each other, from our artistic styles to our own stories.

This latest extension, titled “suspension song,” starts off with an aggressive stroke of strings that crescendo for forty-five seconds. Even if Jase hadn’t told me he added ten more seconds, I would’ve figured it out since the last chords slow down, unsure of how they should come together.