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My stomach twists with a feeling that makes me nauseated. Once Aprilette drove back to San Francisco, my parents locked away my camera and grounded me for the rest of the summer. I wanted to vent to Jase, but I feel a flame incinerating around him, giving off vibes that I shouldn’t talk to him.
“Pencils out, everyone!” Mr. Daniels calls.
Jase yanks a pencil out of his backpack.
“You actually brought one today,” I tease.
“I did.” He barely spares me a glance.
That feeling in my stomach twists harder, like knots on the verge of breaking.
Today’s class drags on so long I want to rip my hair out. My eyes shift to Jase, willing him to look back, but he focuses his attention on anything but me.
As soon as Mr. Daniels dismisses us, Jase dumps all his belongings into his backpack.
“Can we talk?” My voice shakes as I ask. I can’t decide what answer I want to hear most.
Jase huffs and hunches his shoulders, eyes snagging on his desk like it’s the one who asked the question. “We should.” His eyes shift from me to the ground as we walk out.
Outside, Jase stops in front of the door. I stop with him like a magnet. Everyone else walks past us, pouring onto the sun-bathed parking lot.
“Jase?” I say, voice quivering.
He huffs a heavy sigh and turns to me. His eyes scrutinize mine, waiting for me to say something. When I don’t, he says, “Emilyn, have you told your parents or your sister about us?”
A “no” is perched at the tip of my tongue, and all the color drains from my face. My mind replays the moment Aprilette caught me with Jase in the Blossoms parking lot. He had a face I couldn’t decipher then, but now, I’m understanding. He was connecting the dots, that they don’t know about us.
Jase must’ve figured out the answer because he twitches his jaw. “I told my mom and my brother all about you. Why am I a secret?”
“Um... I...” Jase’s eyes search mine, looking for an answer, waiting for one. The silence between us feels like smog, congesting my throat until I choke out the words. “I was afraid they’d break us up.”
He swallows and fissures his face. “I know that would suck, and, yeah, that’s scary. But I want your family to know me. I want them to know how much I care about you. And I want to know them, the people who love the girl I’m totally crazy about.”
My heart swells. I wish I could tell my family about him too.
“That means a lot.”
“So what’s making it hard to tell? Please, I want to understand.”
A stinging sensation builds behind my eyes. “I don’t know if you would, Jase. My parents expect me to date a guy who plans to attend college and gets good grades.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I wish I could shove them back in and swallow them down.
Pain crosses Jase’s face, his lips trembling.
“I get it. You trust them because you love them.” His eyes drop to his shoes, a frown slashing his face. “But still, keeping me a secret, that hurts.”
“Jase, wait, I’m sorry.”
His face crumbles. “Give me some time, okay?”
His voice cracks like my heart, which shatters when he walks into the sunlight without me.
Chapter Forty-Three
Summer has to end eventually, and apparently, so does its magic.
I spend the past week working on summer homework and studying for the SATs. Every second drags without taking photos or talking to Nora and Jase. But I deserve this. The grounding. The headshakes and worries from my parents. The fallout with Jase. All of it.
