Page 31

"What?" I asked finally.

"You're still holding something back."

The bite of toast turned to ash in my mouth. Of course he knew. Nolan always knew.

"I'm not⁠—"

"Baby." He squeezed my hand gently. "I've known you since seventh grade. I can tell when something's weighing on you. You've been somewhere else for days now."

I opened my mouth to deny it, but the words wouldn't come. The book was still by his front door. Father Simon's chronicle, with its impossible magic and even more impossible truths.

How could I tell him? Where would I even start?

I've been traveling through time by reading a cursed medieval manuscript, and oh by the way, you're apparently some kind of soul-mirror that exists across multiple dimensions, and that's actually how I figured out I loved you.

Yeah. That would go over well.

"It's complicated," I said finally, hating how inadequate it sounded.

Nolan was quiet for a long moment, his thumb tracing circles on my palm. The same gesture from last night, grounding and familiar.

"Okay," he said.

I blinked. "Okay?"

"I'm not going to push. Whatever it is, you'll tell me when you're ready." He lifted my hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. "I trust you, Lena. That doesn't change just because we're … whatever we are now."

Guilt twisted in my stomach. He trusted me, and I was keeping the biggest secret of my life from him. But how could I explain something I barely understood myself?

"Thank you," I whispered.

I could see the questions in his eyes. The concern. But true to his word, he didn't push.

"Come here," he said instead, pushing back from the table.

I went to him without hesitation, letting him pull me onto his lap. His arms wrapped around me, solid and sure, and I buried my face in his neck.

This was real. Nolan was real. Whatever was happening with the book, whatever impossible magic had shown me versions of him across time … this moment, right here, was what mattered.

"I'm scared," I admitted into his skin.

"Of this? Us?"

"Of messing it up. Of losing you."

His hand came up to cup the back of my head, fingers tangling in my hair the way I loved.

"You're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere, Lena. I never have been. I love you too much for that.”

This was a different kind of love but I was as sure about it as I was our friendship. “I love you too. And I will tell you," I promised. "I just … I need to figure some things out first. Make sure I'm not losing my mind."

His brow furrowed. "Are you okay? Like, really okay?"

"Yeah." And surprisingly, I meant it. "I think I'm finally starting to be."

He searched my face, then nodded slowly. "Okay. But if that changes⁠—"

"You'll be the first person I call."

"Good." He stood abruptly, taking me with him, and I wrapped my legs around his waist with a laugh.

"Nolan—"

"Shh. I'm doing research. Very important research on what makes my girlfriend scream my name."

Girlfriend.

The word settled over me like a warm blanket, comfortable and thrilling all at once.

I could worry about the book and impossible magic I didn't know how to share, later.