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Aiken and I exchange a glance.

“By now the tide will have risen. I keep a boat and can get you to the mainland, but with all that has transpired here this morn, I propose we drink instead. Stay as my guests.”

I would prefer to leave. To sail away from Murwood End, away from Aiken, and back to Edingham. To reunite with Cettina, tell her all that has transpired, and embrace my sister, never letting go. Never leaving my home again.

But there is more to learn, and plans to be made that I must communicate to Cettina when I do go back. Because the fantasies that have begun to dance around in my head, thoughts of remaining with Aiken, have been proven to be nothing more than silly notions of a woman who still has much to learn.

It seems I know little of this Isle on which I live, and even less of the man I gave myself to, twice. I should at least learn of the former before I return to Cettina. And the latter?

Silvester can have him.

35

Aiken

As I wait for the others, Hilla lagging behind with Salvi and Kipp—no longer Master Aldwine to me after a day of drinking and an evening of conversation that seems a lifetime ago even though it has been just a day—I watch Voyagers come and go. One ship prepares to depart for Stoughrock, an island north of Murwood with whom they trade. Others, to fish, and still other ships, I know not their destination.

Our own is now prepared to set sail for Meria.

The docks are so different here than in the south. One isle, and yet here it is cold, the people independent. In Meria, the warmth begets flowers not seen anywhere else on the Isle. In the east there lies the mountains of the Highlands, some as cold and unforgiving as Murwood End, and others closer to the southeast, more green.

When Kipp asked how I’d joined the Legion, though Hilla pretended not to listen, I know she hung on every word. Unfortunately, she’s not done so since. Instead, Hilla has refused to speak to me. She even asked Salvi to show her Murwood the day after we returned from Nord Manor. He was glad to do it, and seemed even to revel in the attention.

For my part, I drank myself into a stupor, something I’ve not done in many years. After I woke the next day, Hilla refusing to break her fast with me, I returned to Nord as Kipp requested. There, we plotted and planned. I shared every bit of my knowledge of Galfrid’s court, of Silvester and his machinations as well as all the information I’d gathered these past months about Hinton. He worried over the man whom Galfrid had named his successor, Lord Calderone. I assured him that the king’s distant relative had no designs on the throne other than to waylay Lord Hinton.

When Kipp returned, he would be welcome by Galfrid, by his men, and by many in Meria. But I did not shy away from telling him of all those who supported Hinton’s claim. The nobles who stood to gain from the man’s empty promises. And how Silvester had turned from the king toward a man he thought could serve him better. That was, for me, the most concerning of all.

Kipp Aldwine was returning to Meria to claim his rightful place as King Galfrid’s successor.

And yet here I stand, thinking of what I will say to Hilla on the voyage back. If I’ve not been ruthless in my pursuit of her these past few days, it is because her anger is justified. I take her to my bed, love her in the only way I can, and tell her nothing of the most important part of me. The part, as I told Kipp with Hilla listening, that had been awakened all those years ago.

The son of a woman who sold her body for coin, a skinny boy who only learned to fight after he was beaten so badly his eyes would not open for nearly two days. A boy with no hope for the future, whose fists were his only salvation.

It was that boy Baldric found one fateful day. Curious at the shouts, he watched me fight a man who had mistreated my mother. By then, my skinny arms were muscled, and my resolve, which had been there since the day years earlier when I could hear my mother’s voice but could not open my swollen eyes to see her, evident to Baldric. Or so he told me later.

Not one of the men in the Legion of Ash was recruited in the same way. Some, like Roger Orazio, became members because of their fathers. But not all sons did so, only those with the most potential.

Some came with no knowledge of how to use their fists, or the sword, but whose loyalty had been tested, and proven, in some way. Others, like me, just the opposite. Baldric watched me for a long time. Finally convinced I was worthy, he approached my mother first. By the time she spoke to me, I had little choice but to go with him. I was a man fully grown by then. But when the woman who gave you birth begs for something—the possibilities Baldric had shown her enough to overcome the worry that she’d see me little over the coming years—a man has little choice.

So I went with him, trained with him, and eventually, years later, said the oath that bound me to the men I now call brothers. Ones, like Baldric, for whom I would lay down my life ten times over if need be.

Few of the Legion had wives, although there was no vow against it. But what woman would readily agree to the kind of life I am bound to until death? Not always remaining at one place for long, nearly always in danger. I’d never ask such a thing of any woman, most especially a princess.

Hilla belonged at court, with her sister. Comfortable. Protected. Safe.

And so what could I say to her? That I’d not meant to fall in love with her? That I was sorry for not telling her the truth? It would be another lie. I am not sorry for a vow that prevents me from sharing my identity. Being a member of the Legion of Ash has been my greatest achievement. I’d sooner toss myself from this dock with my leg weighted than break that vow.

Firmus maneo. I remain steadfast. Even as the woman I love walks toward me now. Still, I know not what to say to her, but at least she cannot avoid me aboard a ship for more than a fortnight.

Not far behind her trail Salvi and the other men.

“Do you always brood so, Aiken?”

I’d not seen Kipp approaching. For a man with my training, being caught unaware is unusual. And yet, until his hand clasps my shoulder, I’d not seen him coming.

“Where did you come from?”

Kipp crosses his arms. To think just days ago we were strangers.