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But this is different.

“I trust Lord d’Abella apprised you of my accompaniment? It seems as if the others are prepared to leave for the docks, aye?”

I say nothing, but she knows full well we will be having a discussion, alone. Soon.

It was agreed that I would seek out Aldwine and inform him of the Prima’s involvement and plans to extend his influence into the north. None believed it would alter his stance, but with Hinton’s growing support, and the dissolution of Silvester’s alliance with the king, Galfrid’s victory is less certain, and we have no choice but to try once again to convince Aldwine to take his rightful place. Lord d’Abella will not be joining the expedition north, however, as Galfrid’s commanders are needed here. Instead, d’Abella’s man Salvi was chosen to accompany me. He too would seek an audience with Aldwine, but under different circumstances. Salvi is to serve as the king’s representative. I am to carry a message from Lady Aedre.

“Aye,” d’Abella answers for me. “You best be off. May your journey be safe, your trade, a success.”

Avoiding Hilla, I nod to the commander. We fully expect when next we meet Meria will be engaged in an internal battle for its future. This will be but one final effort to chart a new course. And it seems, for me, a test of the vow I did take.

26

Hilla

Although not my first sea journey, this is certainly a different sort of ship than I traveled on as a princess of Edingham. Grateful for a private cabin, as I’m told only the captain and myself have such, I sit on the bed. A small desk, dressing table and shelves, along with my own chest, are my only companions for nearly a fortnight.

It has been a long day.

Every so often, I would catch Aiken watching me. He’s said nothing since this morn, the tension between us not going unnoticed by the crew. The day was not wholly unpleasant, however. After spending the afternoon on deck marveling at the high whistle of the wind and the deep curves of the sail’s’ leeches, I accepted an offer by the captain to dine with him. A kind man, his hair mostly white and his voice as deep as I imagine the sea water beneath us to be, he asked many questions about Edingham. This route, from d’Almerita to Murwood End, and sometimes even north of Murwood to Midenear, is the only one he travels. He indicated it has been many years since he’s stepped foot on the shores of Edingham.

Aiken must have eaten with the other men. And although enough sunlight would likely make for a spectacular view above deck, the strain of being around him, and not speaking, has driven me here, below decks. Being down here, to avoid the strain, has put me in a foul mood, making it increasingly difficult to remember that kiss. Too easy to dwell on his deception.

I grab a wooden post as the ship jolts. I’ve not become accustomed to such sudden movements yet, although the captain assures me I will, likely just in time to disembark. I consider removing my boots but decide, if the waters remain calm, to go back on deck to see the night sky without hindrance.

I just need a moment to think. To reflect. Perhaps I should have told him last eve. Deciding not to be angry with his deception and actually being so were not one and the same. Some of my irritation with him remains, even as I know it serves no purpose.

I nearly fall from the bed at the quick succession of knocks at the door. I stand, opening it, not surprised to see Aiken standing there in his Elderman robes.

“Lady Hilla.”

He fills the frame, this man that so struck fear in his adversaries they would turn coward and run rather than engage with him. For my purposes, I cannot look at him without remembering that kiss. My anger gives way to desire, as it does so often with him.

“I would speak to you.”

“Will the others not think it strange?”

“Do you care what the others think?”

Stepping aside, acknowledging that I do not, I close the door behind him. Aiken fills the small cabin as he did the doorframe, so I ask for him to sit.

Aiken moves to the sole chair nailed to the floorboard below. I sit on the edge of the bed just in time. There’s another jolt of the ship, this one stronger than the last.

How he knew what I was feeling, I’m not sure. I’ve never met a man as astute as Aiken.

I think back to the day we met. “That is untrue.”

“That first day, perhaps. But even after you knew what I was, you fought me at every turn.”

I rein in my instinct to tell Aiken I’ve no notion of what, or who, he really is.

“What of ‘I will miss you,’ Hilla?”

He repeats my words from last eve back to me. Aiken is still angry.

“I will miss you.” I raise my chin, defiant. “When we do part. And you may scowl if you like, Aiken. But until you can say you keep no secrets from me, your anger is misplaced.”

My words hit their mark. His features soften, if just a bit.