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“I love you so much. You do not understand—”
“Aye, Clarissa. I believe I do,” he ground out through gritted teeth.
“If I stay here, if I stay with you, my father will come.”
“Let him!”
She reached for him, but Aidan pulled his hand away. He couldn’t bear to touch her just now.
“You say that, but when he does—and I know he will—how will you feel then? When the very people you’ve sworn to protect—”
“I’ve sworn to protect you, Clarissa. And yet you refuse to let me.”
“Mayhap I can protect myself.”
So this was about her pride? Proving that she did not need him, or anyone, to help her?
“How? By taking a nun’s vow and living the rest of your life less than thirty miles from here? From a clan who would accept you, a man who would die to protect you?”
“That,” she said, attempting again to reach out as he, once again, pulled away, “is exactly what I am trying to prevent. Don’t you understand? How do you think I will feel if something happens to you because of me? If something happens to Gillian or the babe? Aidan—”
“You don’t trust me to protect you?”
“Of course I do, but—”
“Nay, you do not. If you did, lass, we would not be having this discussion. We would ask Father Simon to make our union official, then bid him farewell before we go to my bed to finish what we began at the ruins. You would agree to live here, at Highgate End, for the remainder of your days. You would recognize that you belong here.”
Aidan felt as if he’d just finished a workout with the men. He could not think, could not get the words out quickly enough. Somehow he had to make her understand.
Rather than answer him, she bowed her head. It allowed him a moment to think, to consider what might convince her to stay. Perhaps she just needed more time—
“Do not do this today,” he said. “I will speak to Reid, ask them to delay their departure—”
“Nay, Aidan, that will not matter. I—”
“One day.” Frantic for her to agree, he rushed out his next words. “Give me one day. If you still feel this way on the morrow, then go. But please—”
She looked up then, a single tear pooling in the corner of her eye. He reached out, wiped it away, and then cupped her cheek in his hand.
“One day,” he repeated, knowing the exact moment when she acquiesced, the resolve in her eyes turning to sorrow. Nodding silently, Aidan pulled her toward him and held her as if it were the last time he’d ever do so. When she wrapped her arms around him, he felt more victorious than after any battle or tournament.
Now, if only he could get her to stay here, in his arms, for good.
Chapter 24
Aidan cursed his brother, again.
He had only one day to convince Clarissa they belonged together. Only a single day, and Graeme decided it was the perfect time to hold a meeting with the elders. One he claimed had been long overdue. The morning was spent trading insults and bickering, and nothing much came of it. After all, they’d already agreed to continue boycotting the Day of Truce if Theffield did not remove Caxton as planned.
He’d promised Clarissa to send word as soon as the meeting concluded, and he did that now. Aidan considered going to her himself, but he had another idea.
He knew how much Clarissa valued her time with Lewis. He wanted her to understand that here, with him, she was free to do as she pleased. If she wanted to bake bread or help Cook in the kitchen, learn how to wield a longsword like Allie . . . no one would deny her.
After ordering Lewis to take a break, he sent word to Clarissa to meet him at the bakehouse. An odd place to make a final stand, to be sure. But he hoped the symbolism of it would help convince Clarissa she need not sacrifice herself for the sake of their clan.
While he waited, Aidan occupied his hands by tidying up the space, imagining Lewis’s surprised expression when he returned. He’d thought she would arrive imminently, her chamber was so close, but there was still no sign of her by the time he finished. Aidan began to pace around the table in the center of the room. He went to the door, looked out, and could see no one.
Where was she?
