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Aidan did not move toward her. Instead, he stood there, so close she could smell him rather than the stale air around them. She could see the rise and fall of his chest beneath his simple linen tunic. He was so much larger than her, yet so very, very gentle.

“I would see you again.”

The statement seemed to surprise him as much as it did her.

“I do not know how long it will take for the nuns to reply. Or if someone here will betray me to my father first.”

Loved, she reminded herself.

That sentiment was firmly in the past for him, and she’d do well to remember it. For Clarissa, it was not, nor had it ever been. She’d fallen in love with Aidan de Sowlis at that tournament, perhaps even before that when she was a young girl. If she’d ever doubted that truth, it was impossible to deny it any longer. She wanted nothing more than to stay in this caponier, enjoying the warmth and strength of his firm grip, sheltered from the world above.

But it could not be so.

“You are not the woman I stood next to at that lake, are you?”

“Nay, I am not. Lord Stanley has ensured that naïve young woman is gone forever.”

The old Clarissa may have blurted something silly, like “Take me with you” or “Maybe there is a way for us.” But she’d learned from her mistakes.

“I would like nothing more than to see you again,” she said. “But it will not make it any easier for me to leave.”

Aidan opened his mouth to say something, but she would never know what. He closed it, waited a moment, and then asked, “Will you send word when you arrive safely at Dunburg Abbey?”

She wanted to tell him that she’d not be going. That she could never give herself to God when she was still in love with him. That the thoughts she had of him late, late at night, alone in her bed, were anything but pure. That she was sorry for foolishly trusting her father at the tournament.

Instead, she said, “Aye.”

And when he released his hand from hers, she did not seek it out again. Nor did she go after him when Aidan turned to walk back up the stairs. Instead, she stood there, staring at the pinprick of light, waiting . . . for what? He was gone. She’d told him to leave. Because she had no other choice.

Or did she?

* * *

Aidan thanked the groom and was about to lead his horse outside when she stopped him.

“Would you . . .”

He turned and stared. Clarissa looked the same as she had moments before—the fitted bodice of her deep blue gown leaving little question of what lay beneath . . . her hair pulled back on the sides but otherwise completely free of any adornments.

But somehow she looked different too.

“Would you care to stay for the meal?”

Since supper would not be for some time, Clarissa was not merely being polite. She was asking him to stay the day, and though he knew he should not . . . he’d been both disappointed and relieved when she’d pushed him away . . . Aidan was powerless to refuse the invitation he’d hoped to receive.

“Aye,” he said, handing the reins back to the confused groom. And then, for the boy’s benefit, “It will provide me with the opportunity to speak further with your marshal.”

In fact, he’d already spoken to Sutworth’s marshal, and had no further news for the man who would attempt to keep Sutworth safe during these troubled times.

“Very good.” She gestured to the front of the stable. “Shall we?”

Following her back outside, Aidan thought of Graeme. By now his brother would know he’d come here. If he were being honest, he’d not have an easy time refuting Graeme’s arguments for why he should have instead stayed home. Despite Allie’s encouragement, he knew it had been a bad decision, and staying was a worse one yet.

But the pull he felt toward Clarissa was stronger than his good sense. She was so damn lovely. Aidan wished to wrap his hands around her father’s neck at the thought of what he’d done to them. To her . . .

“We should stay away from the keep,” she said, guiding him to a familiar path. “To the secret pathway where you brought me yesterday?”

They’d ventured through the inner and outer courtyard and to the other side of the great gatehouse. Just to the left of the main road leading directly to the entrance of the estate, not far from the top of the eastern cliff, a break in the tree line announced a footpath.