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“I’m afraid not, my fierce ballerina. You belong to me.”

Those words had always grounded me. Belonging to Gio and Marko was my safe place. “Not anymore.” If Amergio had died because of me, then I no longer deserved to belong to either of them.

His hand came down on my bottom so hard I cried out, not my usual modus operandi.

“Always, Nicolette, you will always belong to me, and there will be no more running away from your ghosts. That all ends today.”

I gulped. The quietness of his voice did not fool me for a minute. That sexy, sultry tone always made me wet for him and now was no exception. How could I be turned on and hate myself at the same time?

His hand came down again, marking my other cheek. Then he worked down to my sit spots, peppering my ass with the hardest spanking I’d ever experienced, one that had me trying to twist out of his grasp while simultaneously begging him to stop.

He was relentless. He didn’t usually spank me in any sort of disciplinary way. That had always been Marko’s thing. Gio’s spanks were usually part of heavy sex, like the kind I’d wanted just a short time ago. Never had I been so thoroughly punished, but even as I cried out and protested, something inside of me was cracking and giving way.

“Tell me, Niki…” He punctuated his words by spanking my thighs, making me scream for mercy. “How badly do you loathe yourself right now?”

I couldn’t answer that because even as Amergio’s face came in and out of focus, a stronger urge was beginning to take over. A desire to be cleansed, and set free from the overwhelming guilt. I stopped fighting and lay limply over his lap. “I hate myself.”

Gio’s paddle-like hand continued to sear my bottom, the stinging heat like flames to a martyr, purging me of all the guilt that had been eating me. Not just with the death of Amergio, but the guilt I’d been carrying for leaving them with no explanation.

The tears that had stopped when I began to try and escape from him came back with a vengeance. I cried for the girl who’d lost her mom far too young. I cried for the teenager who’d been subjected to neglect and verbal abuse. Tears poured in a steady stream to drip on the rug beneath me.

Soon I was wallowing, my body wracked with sobs, and still Gio spanked me without reservation. He never once took it easy on me.

“You are not responsible for Amergio’s death.”

The actions leading up to that moment played in my mind. I wanted, needed, so desperately to believe him.

“Liam was going to kill Amergio regardless of what you did or didn’t agree to. He fully intended to fuck with your head in any way possible. And what better way than to make you think you were responsible for the death of my cousin?”

Gio’s hand worked back up my thighs and stayed at my sit spot until I thought I would lose consciousness.

The spanking stopped. Gio tipped me upright. My punished bottom screamed in protest as he held me tight on his muscular thighs.

“Because Liam knew if he buried you under guilt, he’d destroy me too. It was his last fuck you and he made it personal. You couldn’t save Amergio, Niki, any more than I could save you from the nightmare you’ve experienced. I failed you, Niki. If anyone should throw themselves off the roof, it should be me.”

Gio moved as if to stand, and I threw my arms around his neck. “No Gio, don’t leave me please. I couldn’t bear it.”

He stroked my back in soothing circles.

“Neither could I, Nicolette. Liam would win, we would be dead, and Amergio would have given his life for nothing. Don’t toss away my cousin’s sacrifice, Niki. Don’t let what that bastard did be what tears us apart.”

“Oh Gio!” I slammed my mouth against his, desperate to feel him, and wishing I could crawl beneath his skin and stay there forever. He moved us until we were prone on the bed, his body hovering over mine, his hands pinning my wrists above my head.

“Keep your eyes on mine. No closing them, Niki, or you’ll be punished for disobeying me.”

His smoky-toned command was all I needed to hear. “Yes, Sir.”

Gio smiled that devilish grin of his, and sunk his cock deep inside me. He took me hard and fast, his strong fingers digging into my flesh like cuffs. I loved it, relished it and gave myself over. He claimed me just as thoroughly as he had done that first time, and once again I floated in the world he controlled. It was there I found a new Niki.

Slightly older and wiser, but still the naughty girl underneath the controlled ballerina who wanted nothing else in life but to spend the entirety of what was left with him and Marko. My guys.

Gio spilled his seed deep inside of me and in the aftermath of his violent lovemaking I realized I was home.

Chapter 19

Giovanni

The two weeks following Nicolette’s rescue mission were insanely busy with a lot of reshuffling throughout our organization.