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I drift into consciousness slowly. The first thing I notice is the tickle of hair against my nose, the scent of jasmine and vanilla filling my lungs. The second is the soft, pliant body pressed against mine, all curves and sleepy heat.
My eyes flutter open, and I find myself staring at a tangle of chestnut waves, spilling across my pillow. For a moment, I’m disoriented, my mind still hazy with sleep and dreams.
Then it all comes rushing back. Last night. Katerina. Her telling me she’s pregnant, our fight, sex against the wall. And then…this. Falling asleep with her in my arms, her head on my chest, her breath ghosting over my skin.
I’ve never shared my bed like this. Hell, I’ve never allowed myself the vulnerability of waking up with someone.
Sex, yes. Plenty of it.
But intimacy?
It’s always been too dangerous, too much of a risk. I’ve bedded women then told them to leave.
But with Katerina, God, with her, I want it all. The good, the bad, the terrifying in-between. I want to wake up like this every morning, watch the sunlight play over her skin and know that she’s mine.
Mine. The word echoes through my mind. Mine to hold, mine to protect. Mine to love, in a way I’ve never loved anyone.
I take a moment to just drink her in, to memorize every detail. The dark fan of her lashes against her cheek, the delicate curve of her nose. The way her lips part slightly in sleep, soft and pink and utterly kissable.
My gaze drifts lower, over the elegant line of her neck, the swell of her breasts, the dip of her waist. It settles on her stomach, still flat and toned, no hint yet of the life growing inside.
Our baby. Our child.
The thought hits me like a punch to the gut, stealing the breath from my lungs. I’ve never considered fatherhood or imagined myself as a parent. In my world, in my life, it always seemed like an impossibility, a dream too far out of reach to even contemplate.
But now, faced with the reality of it, I find myself wanting it with a desperation that scares me. I want to see Katerina grow round with my child, to feel our baby kick beneath my palm. I want first steps and first words, skinned knees and bedtime stories. I want the mess and the chaos and the boundless, terrifying love of it all.
And I want it with her. Only her.
But what if she doesn’t want it with me? It’s like cold water is dumped on me. She’s having my baby, yes, but that doesn’t mean she’s mine. Not in the way I want her to be, not in the way I need her to be.
She could still walk away and raise our child without me. With her family’s resources, with the might of the Sokolov empire behind her, I might never see either of them again.
The idea of Maksim and Nikolai whisking her away, of losing her and our baby, it makes my blood run cold. Makes the beast inside me rear its head and roar its fury.
Like hell will anyone take them from me. Like hell will I let her go without a fight. I’ll burn the whole fucking world down first, tear apart anyone who tries to—
Katerina stirs, her eyelids fluttering open. For a moment, she looks confused, her brow furrowing as she takes in her surroundings. Then her gaze lands on me, and I watch the memories play out across her face. Surprise, uncertainty, then a slow, creeping flush that stains her cheeks a delicate pink.
“Morning,” I murmur, my voice still rough with sleep.
“Morning,” she echoes, a shy smile tugging at her lips. “I wasn’t expecting…” She trails off, gesturing vaguely at our entwined bodies. I can’t help but grin, a rush of male satisfaction warming my blood.
“I’d say this was pretty inevitable, wouldn’t you?” I tease, running my hand down the smooth expanse of her back. “Given the way you were all over me last night…”
She gasps, smacking me on the chest. “I was not! You…you…oh my god.”
Her eyes go wide as she seems to register her own nakedness, the intimate press of skin on skin. With a mortified squeak, she dives under the covers, burrowing into the darkness.
I can’t help but laugh, tugging playfully at the comforter to expose her bare back to me. I dart out of the way of her hands. “It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before, Katerina. In fact, I seem to remember paying very close attention to every…single…inch.”
I punctuate each word with a kiss, trailing my lips down the line of her spine. She shivers, goosebumps rising on her skin.
“Nico!” Her voice is muffled by the blankets, but I can hear the laughter threaded through the scolding tone. “Stop that! And close your eyes, I need to find my clothes.”
I oblige, rolling onto my back and slinging my arm over my face. “As the lady commands.”
I hear the rustle of fabric, the soft pad of her feet on the carpet. It takes every ounce of my self-control not to peek and drink in the sight of her lovely body in the golden morning light. The urge to pull her back into bed, to lose myself in her warmth and softness, is almost overwhelming.