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Not that I’m going wrong. This is on her.

I’ve never had trouble with women before. But then, I’ve never really had to do anything. They come to me. Most of the time, I can’t get them to leave me the fuck alone.

I chalk my cue and stare down the table like the next shot matters.

“How do you make a woman…” I stop.

Jim’s eyebrows lift.

I clear my throat. “Hypothetically.”

“Oh, this should be good.”

“Shut up.” I line up a shot, then pull back again. “Say there’s a woman. And say she’s got the wrong idea about you.”

Jim leans on his cue. “Does she?”

“Yes.”

“What idea?”

“That I’m an asshole.”

Jim looks at me. I look back.

He says nothing.

I point the cue at him. “Don’t. I’ve been nothing but nice to her.”

Jim snorts. “Define nice.”

“I bought her flowers. Fixed her gate. Tried to take her trash out. Practically a gentleman. And she still looks at me like I’m something she found stuck to the bottom of her shoe.”

Jim leans on his cue. “You know the quickest way to a woman’s heart? Gets right through their defenses.”

I already regret asking. “What?”

“Kids.” He points his cue toward the bar, where Theo’s in the middle of some story, talking with his hands while the bartender hangs on every word. “Women love kids. And they love a man who’s good with a kid.”

“He’s not a golden retriever, Jim.”

“Same principle.”

I glance at Theo, then away. He’s met Carmen’s daughter. And Drew. If she ever connects those dots, this whole thing blows up. Still, Carmen has kids. She can’t hate them. And right now, I’m running out of plays.

Jim nods toward Theo again. “Trust me, son. Nothing melts a woman faster. She sees how good you are with the boy, she’ll be done for.”

I don’t like it. Which probably means he’s right. And I am good with Theo. It’s not lying.

We finish another game. I lose badly, and Jim enjoys every second of it.

By the time I walk over to the bar, the bartender lights up like I’ve come over for her.

“Hi,” she says, smiling too wide. “Theo’s been telling me all about you.”

“That’s concerning.”

Theo grins up at me. “Can I have another orange juice?”