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I turn back towards Nix, shaking my head. “I think maybe there are people like that but we’re too stubborn to actually see them sometimes.”

Kassian wraps his arms around himself, shivering. He stares out at Nix, chewing at his bottom lip. Finally, he makes a scoffing noise.

“Are you cold?”

He takes a step towards me until his side is against mine. “Yeah. A little bit.”

Against my better judgement, I wrap my arm around his back, pulling him close. Immediately, he snuggles himself against me, allowing my body to warm his up.

I’ve never touched a man like this before. Hell, I’ve never touched anyone like this before, other than Hazel and she doesn’t really count.

Kassian is wearing nothing but a little pair of swim trunks. His skin is just as soft as I thought it would be, smooth and silk and mostly hairless. My stomach flips, making me feel borderline sick.

“Maybe you’re right,” Kassian murmurs. “But sometimes, that doesn’t matter.”

“What doesn’t matter?”

“The devotion of the one you’ve known, the affection from the one you desire most. Sometimes, even with that, it’s just not in the cards for you.”

The words are like a stone falling into the pit of my stomach. Kassian sounds so heart-broken it threatens to make me cry. I squeeze my arms around him tighter.

“Who cares about cards? Who cares about fate? Sometimes, you have to be brave enough to make your own fate, Kassian. You’re brave.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so.” I pull him until we’re hugging each other, our chests pressed together. This should be strange, to just be hugging in the water like this, but somehow it feels right. Everything fades into the background, the only thing that matters is cheering up Kassian. “I haven’t known you long, but I know you’re brave and you’re strong. I’ve enjoyed knowing you and Nix so much. I like the time we spend together.” I clear my throat and softly admit, “you’re special to me.”

Kassian makes a noise that I don’t understand before he finally pulls away. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “Thanks, Dean. You’re really special to me too.”

Just then, Nix bursts out of the water by our legs. Water splashes all over us and we instinctively jump apart from each other.

“Oh my gods,” Kassian says, holding a hand over his chest. “You scared the shit out of me!”

Nix just giggles, staying on his belly in the water. He looks up at Kassian with pleading eyes. “Wanna play mermen with me?”

“What are you? A child?”

“Yes! Play with me!”

“Fine,” Kassian murmurs before sitting in the water with Nix. Nix lets out a cheer, the two of them swimming away.

I walk back to my seat and sit down. I grab my book and do my best to focus on the words but they blur all together. My mind is racing a mile a minute, unable to hold onto one clear thought.

My eyes drift back out to the water, watching Nix and Kassian play. They roughhouse and wrestle and swim around each other. They’re playful and excited. They touch each other with such ease it leaves my chest aching with something else I can’t name.

So many emotions, so many new sensations. What the hell does any of this mean?

Thankfully, I don’t have to have it all figured out right this second. Letting out a deep breath, I pick up my book and try again. This time, I can focus on the words just fine and sink into my reading while the sound of laughter and splashing are my background soundtrack.

Chapter Eight

Kassian

How the fuck have I gotten myself into this mess? What choices in life did I make to leave me here?

Right now I’m sitting on Dean’s couch, watching as Dean laughs at something Nix just said. He looks so handsome when he laughs like that. Of course he’d get along with Nix so well, who wouldn’t? Nix is perfect.

Oh my gods, I have to look away before they realize I’m staring at them.