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“I say we take this upstairs, where I’m going to spend the rest of the night worshipping your body with my lips and my tongue.”
I nodded excitedly. “Yes, please. Let’s do that.”
He chuckled as we collected our dishes and walked them to the sink, clearing them into the trash before loading them into the dishwasher. Henry added soap and started it up then leaned his hip against the counter as I finished washing my hands.
I grabbed a towel when I was done. “Are you sure you’re okay with waiting to tell everyone?”
His answering smile made my knees weak. “Yes, baby. Let’s figure out who we are together before we share the good news with the world. If that’s what you want.”
I smiled back. “It’s perfect.”
He leaned forward, placing a chaste peck on my lips, then grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the stairs.
“Besides,” I continued, “secrets can be hot.”
He laughed as I followed him up to his bedroom.
***
I stayed until Tuesday morning, when I headed back for a live stream I had planned for the early afternoon and Henry got ready for work. He walked me to the front door, made sure I had everything I came with and all my winter gear was in place, then kissed the hell out of me before opening the door and sending me outside.
“See you soon, Angel Baby.” He waved as I stepped off his porch, and I waved back with a smile that spread across my face involuntarily every time I looked at him—or even just remembered he existed.
Shit, I really did love him, didn’t I?
Once I’d navigated public transportation and made it onto the train that would take me across Seattle to my neighborhood, I realized I had a few hours before I needed to be home, so I decided to go see Cameron first. I was already going in the right direction—his house was several stops past mine—but I got off a few stops early to grab us both coffees from our favorite coffee shop before heading over.
As I stepped off the train and headed down the street toward Bears and Brews, it hit me that Cameron may not be alone. It was unlikely since Sam worked a nine-to-five job, but I’d already walked in on him fucking Cameron over the couch, and I never wanted to see my bestie in such a compromising position again. So I pulled out my phone to text him as I approached the coffee shop. I heard back quickly that the coast was clear. Thank fuck.
I left the endearingly eclectic coffee shop minutes later, coffees secured, then headed to Cameron’s.
Once I made it to my BFF’s house, Cammy—who was alone and fully clothed—didn’t have much advice for me except to tell me to follow my heart. Then he reminded me that I’d once told him not to close himself off to love, that that was no way to live, so he was giving me the same advice back. I barely remembered that conversation, but apparently that was the push he’d needed to give Sam a try.
Me. I’d done that.
“I respect that you don’t want to share the name of the person you think you’re falling for, but whoever he is must be an incredible guy,” Cameron had told me, and I’d nodded my agreement and thanks. “But life is too short to spend it with regrets. Jump in. Commit. Be vulnerable. It’s worth it, even if it doesn’t work out.”
I turned the conversation over in my head countless times as I made my way home, set up for my next live, and cleaned up afterward. I considered everything we’d talked about as I did some administrative work for my business, including prepping my social posts for the week since I loved connecting with both old and new followers alike and uploading enticing sexy photos I’d taken a few weeks ago to my cam site as I often did between live streams. I even mulled over it a bit when I gamed with Nate and our online crew later that evening.
By the time my head hit my pillow—after a video call with Henry just before bed that reminded me he was the sweetest man in the universe and I wouldn’t want to spend many nights apart like this in the future—I’d decided that I was falling for him. Even so, I wanted to wait a little longer to tell him I loved him. I needed to let it settle into my bones, into my heart, until it was undeniable.
I was unsure now, but maybe, someday soon, I could give him all of me. He deserved that and more. He deserved the world.
And I would do everything I could to make sure he would get it.
Chapter thirty-three
Tristan
Early January
“Tristan?”
I glanced up from my seat in the empty waiting room decorated in soft hues and calming nature paintings with a wide variety of pride flags displayed around the room—even one I recognized as the leather pride flag, which, for some, had come to include the BDSM community at large—and offered a tentative smile. Standing, I hurried toward the open door. “That’s me.”
The pretty middle-aged woman with short, curly black hair and piercing brown eyes gave me a kind smile as she led me back to what I assumed was her office, the door softly clicking shut behind us. With another smile, the woman, who held an air of authority and competence that her slight build and short height belied, stopped outside the room at the end of the hall and extended her arm. “After you.” When I stepped inside the comfortably appointed office, she motioned to the couch beneath a wall of windows on the opposite side of the room. “Please, have a seat.”
I trudged across the white fuzzy rug toward the leather couch and sat on the end closest to the door. The woman took a seat in an armchair facing me, watching as I shifted to get comfortable.
