Page 12 of Notes of Attraction

“But it makes it all the more worth it when I go back. Plus, no drama in the semester and more time to focus on hanging with my girls and studying. Everybody wins.”

I don’t mention how important hanging with them really is to me. I’ve lived with these girls for three months, and already feel like they’re my family. I know Gianna cries at animal rescue videos but refuses to admit it. Sydney sings while she straightens her hair. And…well, I’m still figuring out Ashley.

I’ve spent most of my life arriving after friendships had already formed and leaving before I could become essential to anyone. Here, people shout my name from downstairs when there’s gossip and ask me if I want anything when they’re ordering pizza. I love it.

“I’ve got to go study, guys.” I push myself up off the couch.

Sydney sighs. “At least one of us has her shit together. Bea, I admire you. Go study, girl. I wish I could right now.”

I stare at her. “You could.”

“No, no,” she says, drama in her voice. “I honestly wiiiish I could. But I’m up to the Thanksgiving episode in my Gossip Girl rewatch. And I’ve got leftover Indian food to eat.”

I nod. The Thanksgiving episodes really are the best.

“How are you so disciplined about everything?” Sydney calls after me. “Even men?”

I stop and look back.

“I’m not disciplined about men. I just know what I want.”

“A guy in another city you see three times a year?”

“Uncomplicated.”

It’s the truth. Or close enough to it.

I grew up watching my mother fold her entire life around my father’s career. Every new opportunity for him meant another house, another school. She quit jobs. Canceled plans.

I decided a long time ago I would never become a supporting character in someone else’s life.

“I like my life the way it is,” I add. “I’m not rearranging it for a man.”

Sydney considers this.

“Hot.”

“Go watch Gossip Girl.”