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I checked the backpack sitting on my desk chair for the thousandth time. It was well-stocked and perfectly cold with the ice packs. The coffees were in cozies, so there was no danger of them melting before Chris returned.

Everything was ready, and I was terrified.

I was going to ask him about what he’d said over a week ago. I was going to ask him if he liked me as much as I did him. I was going to tell him that I was in love with him. I was going to tell him he was my mate. I was going to ask if he wanted my mate bite. I was going to confess to him. On his damn birthday.

I wanted to puke.

The last two weeks since the blood moon had been great. We slept in the same bed. Yes, we’d been having sex, but it was more than that. A lot of the time we talked about homework, fellow students’ drama (like, holy crap, the sheer amount of new human-monster couples), and general life stuff, like my parents going on a pure mushroom diet for three days or Chris’s grandmother in South Korea demanding to meet me in person and see my knees (yes, my knees) since Carter and Sam had said so much about me.

Other times, especially when it was late, we would lie side by side and talk about the future. My hopes for Bro-tein. Chris’s fear he would never find something he loved to do. What we both hoped we’d be doing in the summer, or in two years’ time, or five years.

There was a new intimacy between us that I’d never experienced before, and I absolutely adored it. I reveled in it, basked in it, loved it, and was also utterly terrified of it.

Long-term commitment wasn’t something I feared, especially when it came to Chris; he was perfect for me. However, now that I’d been with Chris, had this closeness, felt what it was like to be in love with my soul mate, I couldn’t stop the bone-deep dread that I would lose it. If Chris wanted to go back to being friends or if he didn’t love me in return, I would die. I wouldn’t survive. Yes, I would still be his friend, but something inside of me would be irrevocably shattered. And hearing him talk about someone else or seeing him with someone other than me would destroy me further.

Now that I’d experienced the best thing in my life, I knew that life wouldn’t be the same without him.

The door opened, and I grinned as Chris walked in. He was in shorts and a tank top, despite the chilly weather, and he was covered in sweat—sweat I wanted to lick off him. If I did that, we’d never leave the room, so I refrained.

He walked straight toward me, and I wrapped my arms around him, drawing him close. “Good workout?”

“It was fine.”

I fought a frown at his tight tone. There wasn’t a smile in sight and he looked like someone had been murdered. I knew it was from his birthday. He’d been like this last year. I didn’t know the exact reason why he hated his birthday, but he was allowed to. I just wanted him to have a good time today.

“The team surprised me on my run. They had balloons and everything for me. Even a huge gift card to Mummy Mocha. Apparently, Aaron told them about my birthday, and I take the same route for every run, so I guess it was easy to surprise me.”

“How did he know?”

“Sam’s big mouth.”

My brow furrowed. I hadn’t been aware of Sam being friends with Aaron. Sure, the Kim siblings tended to be friends with everyone, but Sam and Aaron? That was new.

He must have seen my confusion because he said, “She slept with some harpy who happens to be a huge fan of Mort Rain, who’s in Alpha Claw Omega, and the harpy’s sister knows Shorely, who of course is frat bros with Aaron. So Sam mentioned it to the harpy, who mentioned it to her sister, who told Shorely, who told Aaron, who told the team.”

I blinked. Well, that was a telephone game of the Kim sibling network, birthday edition.

“Yeah.”

Rubbing his arms, I said, “We don’t have to go on the drive. We can just hang out here.” I might have planned a lot and I might have really wanted to have an actual date with Chris, but his comfort came first.

“No,” he instantly replied. “I want to go.”

“It’ll be fun.”

Chris smiled, and I swore sunlight grew within me. He cupped my face. “It’s always fun with you.”

I swallowed. “I always have fun with you too.”

“Let me shower and get changed.” When Chris shucked off his shorts, I turned away with a flush on my cheeks. I didn’t want to get distracted.

Only a handful of minutes later, we were in Carter’s car, heading for a remote location that Sam had assured me would be perfect.

“I can’t believe Carter let you borrow his car.” Chris snagged my hand, beaming as he looked out the window.

“Me either. Though I don’t think I realized quite how much he loves his car.”

He burst into laughter. “He loves loves it! I don’t quite get it, but he does.”