Page 17

Unlike my siblings, he wasn’t even looking at us. Nope. He was chatting with Evander, who was sipping a drink and nodding along with whatever Aaron was saying, then broke into a massive smile before starting to chatter away.

Relief poured through me like a cleansing rain. For some reason, I didn’t like the thought of Aaron staring, being jealous, wanting Jaxon for himself. Like we’d been performing for him or something. I should want the opposite, as that had been the whole point of this, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Instead, my fingers curled even tighter around Jaxon’s hair, and I leaned against his wide chest, resting my cheek on his shoulder. With my face buried in his neck, I ignored everyone around me and the burning in my cheeks.

I’d just had my first kiss, and it had been mind-blowing. Weren’t they supposed to be awkward? Teeth and too much spit or something? Parts of the kiss had been… new, but not exactly awkward. Overall, though, the kiss had been the hottest experience of my life. I’d never wanted it to end. If I had my way, I would plaster my lips against his once more and pick up where we’d broken off. Hell, I would much rather just drag him to bed and see what happened.

None of those things were possible. Jaxon was my best friend. He was the single most important thing in my life, and I couldn’t imagine him not being in it, at least not without spiraling into a cloud of doom. However, if we tried to be more and it failed, I didn’t think our friendship would survive. Also, there was the little matter of Jaxon not liking me. He was into Aaron, not me. That thought hurt way more than it should.

After a moment, Jaxon, oblivious to my inner turmoil, started to rub my back in long, smooth strokes which basically had me purring like a cat. I arched into his addictive touch. Man, I should’ve been a cat shifter like my entire family instead of a measly human.

My birthday might have been the same day as the Halloween Wave, but I was as human as they came—the sole human in my immediate family. I hated it. My family never made me feel less than, but it didn’t matter. I felt like that anyway. I was the odd man out. It also didn’t help that school didn’t come naturally to me. I’d ended up failing eighth grade and had to repeat it, making me older than everyone else in school, whereas Carter was basically a genius, and Samantha was average. Yet another thing that set me apart from my siblings. Being different from them was hard. If I’d had a choice in the matter, I would’ve chosen to be a shifter, like them, but I was human. It was what it was. Besides, being human wasn’t so bad, and there were perks.

Like the whole blood moon that was coming up. It would affect all monsters, but shifters most of all. My siblings would probably be extra cranky, not to mention spending more time as cats than typical. I didn’t have to deal with that.

Neither did Jaxon. He rested his hand on the small of my back, and I grinned. He wasn’t a shifter, just an ogre through and through. He’d probably be fine.

When my dick finally got the idea that there was going to be no sex and deflated, I leaned back. Jaxon’s cheeks were still a bright blue, but I didn’t think he was mad at me. I mean, he’d never been mad at me before, not even once, and he’d been the one to initiate the kiss. He cupped my cheek, his touch so gentle, like I was something irreplaceable, something precious. His thumb skated over my cheek, and a shiver went down my spine.

He didn’t say anything, thank the monster god. Whatever he said in this moment would probably be too much or not enough. Rather, he just continued to stare at me, holding and brushing my cheek while we ignored all the people around us. I couldn’t look away from his golden eyes. I swore at that moment in time, they held all the secrets of the universe or some shit.

Eventually, I slid off his lap and wordlessly held out a hand. Jaxon interlaced our fingers and smoothly stood. We didn’t say goodbye or even acknowledge the people around us. Instead, we quietly slipped out of the suite and wound outside, into the balmy night air.

Chapter Eight

Jaxon

Icouldn’t decide if this was the best walk back to my dorm room of my entire college career or if it was the worst ever. On one hand, I’d just had the best kiss of my life and was currently walking hand-in-hand with Chris. But on the other side of this… I’d just motherfucking kissed Chris, and we were now holding hands. What the actual fuck?

The kiss, though. Hell, it had been mind-blowingly good and oh-so-perfect. Even recalling it was enough to wake up my dick and make it throb in my pants. I wanted to steal Chris away. Maybe take him to the goblin statue on the quad and press him against it as we made out in the darkness, like it was our own private space, like we were the only two people in the entire universe. Or maybe I would take him further. Like a secluded cave where no one would ever see him again, where we could be alone and unbothered.

I almost paused in my step. That was a little too serial killer for me. No caves. Well, maybe a cave. I was an ogre after all, and we did prefer caves to get away from the oppressive sunlight. However, Chris sure as hell would need to see other people again. I couldn’t hide him away for the rest of his life; that was just plain wrong, no matter what my instincts were currently demanding.

A huge part of me, though, didn’t want to return to our room, because it felt as if we would go back to how we’d used to be before the kiss. And I wasn’t sure if I wanted that. To just be friends, nothing more. To not be able to draw Chris close and press my lips against his incredibly soft ones. It felt almost tragic for that to be an impossibility.

All these thoughts were utterly ridiculous. The kiss had been fake. Completely fake. Him sitting on my lap—fake. Him resting a hand over my heart like he was steadying me—fake. But… I swallowed, gripping my best friend’s hand like a lifeline. It didn’t feel fake at all. No. It felt as if we were standing on the precipice of a cliff, and if we just leaned over, we would either fall into something amazing or crash into utter ruin.

I wasn’t sure which, and that terrified me.

Chris was single-handedly the most important person in my entire life. I couldn’t, and more importantly, didn’t want to imagine my life without his warm sunshine—the only sun I desired. It seemed entirely too bleak. He was the light I needed to keep moving forward.

Neither of us spoke as we wandered across the campus. People were out and about. No doubt there was another bonfire this weekend by the river. While the weather remained nice, they’d continue by the river every weekend for people to take advantage of. We could join if we wanted to, of course, but I really didn’t want to, and Chris made no move toward the river.

We passed a zombie, one of the many working at Creelin U, who was cleaning up toilet paper that was strewn all over the branches of a tree, and I rolled my eyes at the juvenile act. Probably Alpha Claw Omega. Frat prank or initiation or something. I glanced at Chris, expecting him to remark or make some joke. Hell, even laugh. But nothing.

He was as silent as the grave.

A frown curled my lips downward as I studied him. Chris was staring at the ground, gaze unfocused, cheeks pink, and brow knitted. I couldn’t think of a time when I’d seen his expression so serious. Not once.

Had we fucked up our friendship already? I certainly hoped not.

Our dorm building appeared before us, and I mechanically opened the door for Chris, though I steadfastly refused to relinquish his hand or to think about why. Thankfully, he didn’t attempt to pull out of my grip as he moved inside and toward the stairs, always ignoring the elevator to get in more exercise.

When we finally arrived at our room, our hands naturally separated. Neither of us looked at the other. Chris moved to his bed, flopping onto his back and opened his Grimoyre as if he was about to start reading a book. I stared at the floor, standing in the middle of the room, rubbing the back of my neck, like an idiot.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” I forced out.

Chris nodded. His voice strained as he said, “Sounds good.”

Closing the door to the bathroom was a relief. It was a safe haven from the tension that now pulled taut between us. Never had this happened before. Then again, I’d never kissed my best friend before. I sighed and dragged my hand over my face. This was a jumbled mess. Why had I let him talk me into this fake dating plan? Oh right. Because I couldn’t say no to him.