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I shrug, and we both laugh again. Then, after we take a few minutes to get dressed, Lev opens his arm and pulls me over to him. My hand rests on his stomach, and we cuddle for a few minutes. The car smells like sex, and we’re both still sweaty, but I’m also completely at peace right now.

When Lev’s heart rate starts to even out, he presses a few sweet kisses to my head. Then he yawns.

I sit up, planting a kiss on his cheek. “I’m hungry. Let’s go eat.”

Chapter 48

Levon

Later that week, I call my mom. She’s elated when I ask if Dare can join us for Thanksgiving. Of course, telling her that I want to have him come for Thanksgiving dinner also means that I have to fully admit to her that we’re together. She’s completely unfazed and happy for us and says she’s looking forward to getting to know him better.

She was not naïve to the stuff that happened with his family after Nate. Even after I left, Lindsey would apparently fill her in on things going on with Dare and the Archers before she would tell me. So my mom is more than happy to have him over, and I think she understands just how much it will mean to him to not be alone on the holiday.

As I hang up with her and then sit back down to grab some lunch, my phone goes off. It’s a text from Caleb, telling me that the Pack is all going to be at the Exchange the night before Thanksgiving. He says he just wanted to let me know, and at the end of the text, he tells me to bring Dare, followed by the Kathryn Hahn wink gif. I smile and pocket my phone, figuring that Dare has plans to go already and we just haven’t talked about it yet.

The rest of the day goes by quickly, and after work, I find myself on the way to Dare’s. Being and staying at the house has gotten a bit easier. The other night, we went to the basement to hang out and watch a movie, and it was tough, but being there with him softened the pain of reliving my memories of Nate. We had a good laugh about the time that I walked downstairs and caught him experimenting with his friend. I was right when I thought that was what I walked in on.

When I get to Dare’s house, he comes outside to greet me. We meet with a fevered kiss, Dare thrusting his tongue into my mouth and holding me tightly.

“Mmmm,” he moans. “I missed you.”

“It’s only been two days, little lycan,” I tease him, nipping at his lip ring with my teeth.

He smiles into my mouth. “That’s one day too long,” he says.

He takes my hand and leads me into the house. A pizza is already sitting on the counter, and we plate some up and take our seats at the table.

Conversation flows freely between the two of us, and we talk about our plans for Wednesday night. Dare tells me that he already expected us to go and that Ryan and Katie are going to be there, along with a bunch of his other friends.

I swallow my bite of pizza and say, “Will you go with me? Officially?”

He bats his eyelashes at me. “You mean like . . . a date?” He’s grinning at me while he wipes his mouth with a napkin.

“Yes, Dare. Another date.”

He laughs and accepts, of course.

After dinner, Darian grabs his keys and turns to me. “I want to go to the inlet,” he tells me, and my heart stops. He must see the dread on my face, because he continues quickly. “I go sometimes when I need to be close to him or when I need to talk to him. I want us to go together. I want you to be with me this time.” His green eyes are wide and pleading.

I haven’t been to the inlet since the day that the town did the official dedication in Nate’s memory. I never went back because it was too much of a reminder of what happened.

I swallow hard and nod. “Okay,” I manage.

Dare smiles at me, and I follow him out of the house and to his car.

The drive to the inlet doesn’t take long, proving just how close to home Nate actually was that night. It’s quiet for a few minutes, both of us just absorbing where we are and the significance of it. Dare reaches for my hand, and our fingers slide together. He takes a deep breath.

“I come here and talk to him sometimes. Is that weird?”

I put my head back against the headrest. “Not weird at all.”

We sit in silence for a few more minutes, and my gut feels like it’s eating me from the inside out. I have to tell Dare about that night. I have to tell him what happened the night of the party and why I wasn’t with Nate. I’ve been holding onto these words for a long time, but I’m not entirely sure whether my need to share this with Dare is because I want to feel better or if it’s something that will help us in the long run.

It’s probably a little bit of both.

What I have to say isn’t really going to help him in any way, but I hate having this hanging between us—a secret I haven’t shared with him. He could truly hate me after this. After spending so much time with him lately, I’ve realized how much my leaving hurt him, and this could be another hole that he falls into.

But it’s a hole I’m still trying to dig myself out of, too. I spent a lot of time in the dark, drinking and trying to get the voices out of my head. They haunted me all the time. And as much as I tried, I couldn’t fill the Nate-sized hole in my life. Once I left and got to Sheltonville, I worked really hard to fix my thoughts and get rid of the blame that I carried with me about That Night. Every time I felt like I was making progress, I would slip back and replay the moment my parents knocked on my door to tell me what happened. I spent a lot of nights on the phone with my mom, crying or sometimes just sitting in silence.