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“Oh, no.” The Jester takes a sip of the coffee. “But it helps.”
I don’t know if he is joking, and that’s the problem with him—you never quite know. He could tell me he plans to cut my fingers off while smiling exactly like this, and I wouldn’t know if I should laugh or start running. Not that it would help. He would view that as a fun activity we should do together. One last hurrah before I die.
The Jester takes another sip. “This is good.”
“Thanks.”
“See, my love?” he says, turning to Vesper. “Your pet is useful.”
“He is not my pet.”
And it seems they are back at each other’s throats.
“I think he is a pet. He sleeps in your house, you feed him, and you protect him. Unless he is your boyfriend . . . and if that is the case, his death just became my top priority.”
“Not her boyfriend,” I state, and Vesper smirks.
Oh no, she cannot do this to me, I just got him off my back for the day, and she is about to throw me to the wolves.
She crosses the space until she is facing off with him. “Would that piss you off if I had a boyfriend that wasn’t you? Would you not share me if that was what I wanted?”
She runs a finger down his chest, and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.
“Would sharing you mean you’re mine? I’m sure I could try to make it work. How attached would you be to these other people? Because we might have a few casualties along the way.”
“Ugh, nothing I do deters you. Can you stop breathing near me now?” she snaps.
“I can if that is what you want.”
“Please do.”
He inhales deeply and holds his breath. Vesper glares at him, but he keeps holding it in, ten seconds pass, fifteen, twenty, until his face turns red.
“Is anyone going to stop him?” I ask.
Rue shakes his head, looks at his watch, and smirks.
“Nope,” Vesper says.
The Jester’s cheeks puff slightly as we reach thirty seconds.
“This is fucking stupid,” I blurt out, but Vesper just drinks her coffee.
“He’ll give up.”
The Jester shakes his head.
“Or pass out,” Rue offers, and the Jester gives a thumbs up.
I rub my hand over my face; I am literally being held hostage by a fucking idiot.
We reach forty seconds, and Vesper sighs. “Breathe.”
The Jester sucks in a huge breath and grins. “I knew you cared.”
She rolls her eyes. “I just don’t want to drag your body down the stairs.”
“You’re pretty small, so you probably couldn’t.”
