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Ash (11:50 p.m.): yeah

Ash (11:50 p.m.): although if you can’t tell, I’m a bit of a mess right now

Cass frowned and hesitated, reading Ash’s text twice.

Cass (11:51 p.m.): Would you prefer to just text?

Ash (11:51 p.m.): no

Not more than two seconds after the text came through, Cass’s phone began vibrating with an incoming call. He quickly swiped to answer and shifted the phone up to his ear.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Ash’s shaky voice came through the phone speaker as barely more than a whisper, but he quickly cleared his throat and then said, a little louder, “Um, so, how was your flight? Good to be home?”

Cass almost laughed, since the flight was the very last thing he wanted to talk about right then. But he could sense that Ash’s nervousness, wherever it was coming from, was quite real. So instead, he settled back against the wall, smiling softly.

“It was smooth, for the most part, just a little turbulence on the landing,” he said. “The plane was pretty small and not even close to full. I had a whole row to myself.”

“Ah, nice. I, um, I actually didn’t even know there was an airport in Redding until like two days ago,” Ash admitted. “It’s really small, huh?”

“Tiny,” Cass said with a light laugh. “I think they only have commercial flights out to a few places. Seattle and San Francisco, for sure. Los Angeles, too, I think, and maybe Denver?”

“Ah, lucky for you, then.”

There was a hint of a smile in Ash’s voice now. Cass closed his eyes. “Very,” he said.

“And, uh, lucky for me, too,” Ash added tentatively, and it seemed like a good opening to change the subject.

Cass’s heart clenched, and he swallowed back the lump in his throat. “I’m glad you called,” he said softly. “And I’m glad your answer is yes.”

Ash seemed to fumble for a response, starting and stopping multiple times before managing to mumble a short “yeah.”

It was adorable—how nervous Ash was. But Cass worried there was something more to it, too, and he suddenly wished his plane had been delayed overnight so he’d had an excuse to see Ash a third time before he left.

He bent his knees to sit cross-legged and leaned his head back against the wall. “Can I ask why you’re so nervous?” Cass said. Then he closed his eyes and added, “If you’re uncomfortable for any reason, I don’t—”

“No, it’s not that, really,” Ash cut in. Cass heard Ash blow out a breath, and he imagined Ash might be shifting, too, maybe sitting up, maybe running a hand through his hair. Ash continued. “It’s just . . . I’ve never, uh, done this before. That’s all.”

Cass leaned forward a little, frowning in confusion. “You’ve never done what?”

There was a quiet laugh. “Whatever it is we’re doing here,” Ash said. He sighed, and Cass thought he could maybe hear a little sadness in it. “I’m only really out to a couple of people—Shaina and Grant. But I kinda figured myself out late, and I dunno . . . I’ve never dated or anything. Then right when I was starting to be sure of who I was, my parents died, and that messed me up enough that I had to focus just to finish high school. It just . . . wasn’t important, I guess. That, and there’s never been anyone I’ve really wanted to date. Until now, I mean. Until you.”

Somewhere in all of that, Cass had closed his eyes, and his heart had started to ache. He nodded, wishing Ash could see him then. “If it helps,” he said, “I’ve never really done this before, either. I mean, I have dated a bit, but nothing was ever serious.”

“How, um . . . how much is ‘a bit,’ if I’m allowed to ask?” Ash’s voice had gotten small, and Cass wished again that they were together so he could really show Ash how he was feeling.

“You can ask,” he said. “You can always ask me anything.” With a soft laugh, he added, “It’s not a very exciting answer anyway. I had a boyfriend for one whole week in high school—we ended up going on half a date, and—”

“Half a date?” Ash interrupted. “There’s a story there.”

“And it’s an embarrassing story for another time,” Cass hedged. He laughed and scooted down until his head was on his pillow again. “My sixteen-year-old self swore I’d never, ever go out with anyone ever again, and I managed to stick to that until college, which is when I really started to figure myself out, too. I dated a few guys, but just first dates, mostly. Once a second date. I, uh, guess I had a knack for attracting men who thought very, very highly of themselves.” He grimaced, remembering how all of that had felt. Then he cleared his throat and continued. “When I came back to town after my mom’s stroke, I stopped dating altogether for almost a year. Then my friend Matty set me up with Joe. I’ve told you a little about him, I think. We dated for a couple of months, but, well, nothing was happening.”

“What do you mean?” Ash asked.

Cass grimaced again, not sure how to explain it. “I mean that we tried? We went out, had dates, spent time together. He’s a great guy—super sweet, smart, kind, everything I thought I wanted. He was the first guy I dated who wasn’t a selfish, egotistical creep, really. But there was just nothing there. We’re good friends now. But that’s it. It was never—” He cut himself off, realizing he’d probably said too much already.

But Ash jumped back in. “It was never what?”