Page 35

Joe (11:04 a.m.): Great :) Drive safe, ttyl

Cass (11:04 a.m.): Thanks

With one more long breath, Cass set his phone down, shifted his car into drive, and turned around to head home before his dad had to leave for work.

“Here we go, ma.” Cass carefully draped a soft towel around his mom’s thin body to keep her warm and started drying her with another. “You’re sure about Christmas, then? And Dad agrees? We’re going to Uncle Dan’s?”

His mom nodded weakly and lifted her good hand to pull the towel up around her shoulder a little tighter. “I want to see everyone, and this is the easiest way,” she said, her words slow but clear.

Cass tried not to frown at his unease. His uncle lived in Stockton, which was at least three hours away. Right now, even a short drive across town to take his mom to her doctor’s office turned into an almost all-day event and left her exhausted the next day.

“It would be great to see everyone,” he agreed. “But maybe, instead, we could have everyone over here. That would be fun, eh?”

“Caspian . . .”

“Nah, ma, think about it, right? I could cook a turkey and potatoes and green beans, and dad could make pies, just like we did that one time at Thanksgiving when everyone traveled up here. Or a ham. I’ve never cooked one before, but it can’t be that hard, right? I know it’s short notice, but I’m sure everyone would come.”

“Caspian . . .”

He looked up from where he was kneeling in front of her, using the towel to gently dry her legs. Her eyes were tired, but he saw an understanding in them. He smiled softly. “If we have everyone over here, then you wouldn’t have to travel, ma,” he argued quietly. “Dad can add the expander to the table and pull those plastic chairs we have out of the garage. And I can find those little reindeer ornaments for the tree. I’ll help you fill them with Hershey’s Kisses, like Grandma used to do for me when I was a kid. Cody and Jess will have fun with that.”

At the mention of her brother Dan’s grandchildren, she seemed to try for a small smile. “Yes, you’re right,” she said. “They would love that.”

He didn’t say anything more, and she stayed quiet as well while he finished toweling her hair dry. Then he slowly helped her out of the shower and dressed her in her pajamas. When he settled her onto her bed a few minutes later and knelt in front of her, the exhaustion in her eyes had morphed into sadness.

He pursed his lips and took her hands in his, his heart aching. “I just want what’s best for you,” he said. He tried for a smile, but he knew it looked strained, at best. He continued, working to steady his voice. “Going to Uncle Dan’s, that’s a long drive. I think we’d have to get a hotel for the night, and . . .”

He trailed off, unsure of whether or how to keep trying to convince her. And if his dad had already okayed it, maybe Cass was being overly anxious anyway. He dropped his chin and was about to apologize when his mom squeezed his hand weakly.

“Don’t you worry, dear,” she said. She took a slow breath. “You worry too much, you know? About me. About your dad. About everything.”

Cass huffed a small laugh and nodded. “Yeah, I know, ma.”

“What I want to know most,” she continued, her words starting to slur together now, “is how did your date go this morning. You never told me. His name’s Jon, right?”

“Joe. His name’s Joe. He’s a friend of Matty’s. Just moved here from Reno.”

“Oh, that’s right. You said . . . you said he’ll be teaching at the college?”

“That’s right, ma.” Cass squeezed her hand and then carefully helped her lie down as he told her all about Joe and his date. When he finished, she was tucked safely under the covers, her eyes half closed and her breathing already starting to slow. She shook her head slightly, though, as if rejecting something he’d said, and she pulled her good hand out from under the comforter and reached over to set it on his thigh.

“He sounds like a sweetheart, Caspian.”

“He really is,” Cass agreed.

“So, why are you sad, dear?”

The question surprised him, but he didn’t get a chance to answer; his mom’s eyes closed, and her breathing changed to the deep rhythm of sleep. He stayed there for several more minutes, and when he was sure she was comfortable, he stood quietly, turned off the bathroom light, and made his way out of the bedroom, leaving the door cracked open a few inches, as always.

Then he stopped in the hallway and stood there, replaying her question over and over.

Sad? Did he seem sad? Was he sad? What would make her think that?

He stuffed his hand in his pocket and pulled his phone out, almost on autopilot as he opened his text messages and then clicked on a message chain from much earlier in the day.

Ash (1:34 p.m.): I passed! Yo! Haha. I know you were sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to find out

Cass (1:59 p.m.): Ahh, sweet! Congrats! :) Which classes again?