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And even though he knew it was going to hurt to see Cass leave, he felt nothing but love and hope and this strong sense of contentedness. For the first time in a long, long time, he was looking forward to the future.
With a sigh, he turned around in Cass’s arms, careful not to wake him. His hands settled gently on Cass’s chest, and he bit his lower lip as he studied Cass’s face. Even in his sleep, Cass looked kind. And caring. And gorgeous.
And he was Ash’s. Somehow, Ash had lucked into finding this beautiful, incredible man. Or, actually, Cass had found him, caught him when he’d been falling into a deep, dark abyss of despair and grief, and helped him to feel again.
Smiling softly, Ash scooted a little closer and let his fingers brush along Cass’s jaw, chasing the touch with a soft kiss. Cass barely stirred, and so Ash kissed him again, lightly, teasingly. This time, Cass hummed, the sound rumbling deep in his throat, and he shifted a little, his arm tightening around Ash’s midsection.
“Mmm, good morning,” Cass said, his voice appropriately low to avoid waking Bri.
Ash kissed Cass’s jaw and then settled his head against Cass’s chest. “Good morning. I’d say sorry to wake you, but I’m not.”
Cass laughed quietly. “I’m glad you did.” He nuzzled the top of Ash’s head and then hummed again. “Mmm, I want every single minute today.”
Ash nodded silently and then tilted his chin up, and they kissed with the slow laziness of early morning. When he pulled back a moment later, he watched a soft smile grow on Cass’s lips. They kissed and talked quietly and kissed some more, and that feeling that he was happy and was going to be okay continued to surround Ash with every touch they shared. It was good. He was good.
When Bri finally woke up, it was nearly seven thirty. Cass hopped out of bed and plucked Bri from her crib, spinning her around and then blowing a raspberry on her belly as she giggled happily. Ash pushed himself up out of bed, too, and then followed as they headed to the kitchen to make breakfast.
The remaining few hours before Cass had to leave went much, much too fast. At about 9:45 a.m., Cass excused himself to pack up his stuff and make sure he had everything. Bri paused her playing and came and sat in Ash’s lap on the couch.
“Cass go home?” she asked quietly, looking up at him with sad eyes.
Ash forced himself not to frown. Instead, he gave her a gentle nod and said, “Yeah, he has to go back home to help take care of his mom. But he’s going to call us and talk to us on the phone, like he always does.”
“Oh, yes, yes. Talk phone.” Bri didn’t exactly smile, but she seemed to understand, at least as much as an almost-two-year-old could, that this “goodbye” wasn’t really “goodbye.”
Cass came back out of the bedroom a minute later, his duffle bag hanging from one shoulder, and Bri jumped off Ash’s lap and ran over, her arms outstretched.
“Up! Cass up! Hug!”
Without hesitation, Cass leaned over and scooped her up, grinning. “Ah, Bri, thank you for letting me stay here with you. I had such a great time!”
Bri brought her hands up to either side of Cass’s face and then placed one of her big, wet kisses on his nose with a loud “Mwah!”
Cass laughed and then kissed her cheek. “Thank you, sweet girl.”
“Come back?” Bri asked, her expression shifting from joyful to serious.
Ash’s heart ached as he watched Cass’s eyes flicker with sadness. Bri didn’t seem to notice, but Cass also didn’t seem to know exactly what to say. They’d avoided talking about when “next time” would be, except for a loose mention of Cass possibly flying up for Ash’s departmental graduation ceremony in June. Ash had been meaning to bring it up all morning, but he’d kept getting distracted by other things.
He cleared his throat, and Bri and Cass both turned to look at him. “We’ll see Cass again soon, I know it,” he said softly.
“Soon?” When Ash nodded, Bri grinned, bright and happy, and threw her arms around Cass’s neck. “Yay yay yay!”
Cass laughed, but it was a tight, strained laugh. He glanced over at Ash, and when their eyes met, Cass’s expression flickered again. Ash shook his head and gave Cass a hopeful smile.
“Hey, Bri, can you run and grab your diaper bag, sweetie?” Ash said.
“Yes, okay!” Bri agreed, and when Cass set her down, she took off toward the bedroom.
Cass’s eyes were downcast, and his shoulders looked tight as he shoved his hands in his pockets. With a frown, Ash pushed himself up off the couch and stepped over to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around Cass’s midsection. Cass lifted his eyes, and he seemed to strain for a small smile.
“Sorry,” Cass said. He let out a breath and then pulled his hands out of his pockets and rubbed them up and down Ash’s arms. “I had such a good time. I just didn’t realize how hard it would be to leave, especially not knowing when we’ll see each other again.”
“‘Soon’ isn’t certain enough for you, huh?”
Cass laughed lightly. “I guess not.”
For some reason, something in his laugh sounded off, and Ash made a split-second decision. He dropped his arms from around Cass and pulled out his phone. Then he opened up his email and skimmed through until he found what he was looking for: the schedules for finals, graduation, and the start of the summer quarter, when his master’s program began. He smiled and looked back at Cass, who was watching him with one eyebrow raised.