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We pile into the truck and take off, watching as monstrous nightmares slip into the forest from her compound. Hopefully someone else can deal with the fallout, but honestly, Torrin is right. Nobody should be a prisoner, not even monsters. Everyone should be given a chance.

I settle in for the drive, knowing there is nothing but road between here and Vigil, my mother’s land. We are in the middle of nowhere, about a hundred miles from my old home.

One hundred miles until I see my mother again and come face-to-face with the man responsible for all this.

One hundred miles until either they or I die to break the bond.

I don’t know if they hear that thought or are thinking the same thing, but the mood is subdued, so I close my eyes and pretend to rest. It’s time to rebuild my walls and keep them out. I have my vengeance to gain, and they have their job to complete.

CHAPTER

THIRTY-TWO

I’ve been gritting my teeth for hours, trying to ignore the hunger gnawing at my stomach. It’s one I am never without, but it’s stronger now. It shouldn’t be, since I ate recently. I can go a month without feasting if need be. My guess is whatever drugs the collector pumped us full of to get us back to her compound burnt through my reserves. My mind is quite literally eating itself, and soon, it will eat away my sanity. If I go feral, there is no coming back. Nobody ever does. A feral ghoul is a dead ghoul.

I try to fight it. My eyes are closed, and my hands grip the door as I press my face to the cool glass. The rumble of the engine does nothing to slow my heart. My hands are twitching now, and then I smell live flesh and blood.

Without meaning to, my head turns, seeking out prey, my nostrils flaring. When I open my eyes, I know they are red and soulless as I stare at Ferol where she sits between Bram and me.

They probably hear it because the truck screeches to a stop, every eye going to me. I feel my instincts lunging towards her, so instead, I throw myself backward. Smashing open the door, I throw myself into the forest beside the road, racing away from her and temptation.

My body moves of its own accord, need and sanity warring as I stumble and try to escape to keep them safe from me.

I don’t make it far before I crumple, hunger consuming me as my nails slash at the ground, my back bowing as a roar leaves my lips. My head jerks from side to side as I fight the red haze wanting to descend upon me.

If I give in, I’ll never go back.

I’ll be lost, but it’s getting stronger.

“Emrys?” The voice is gentle, strong, and sure, like a beacon in the dark. I lift my head, trying to follow that voice, but I can’t see anymore. I can only smell blood that is fresh, strong, and so close.

Throwing up my hand, I crawl away with a whine. “Stay back.” My words are a growl as foam dribbles from my mouth. “I can taste you.”

“Shh, I’ve got you,” she promises, but she’s too close. I scramble away. My vision is blurry, but I see her crouched nearby. “You need to eat.”

“No live prey,” I hiss. “I can taste it. These woods are dead.”

“Shit,” she mutters, and I bark out a laugh before digging my nails into the ground to stop myself from attacking her. I can hear the pulse in her veins, and I ache to bury my teeth into her neck and feast on her blood and flesh.

“I should never have come back. Let me die,” I beg.

“No,” Kitt snaps, and it’s only then I realise they are all here. “We will figure something out. We can try to sedate you⁠—”

“He’s too far gone. Can’t you feel it?” Torrin murmurs. “He’s on the verge. I don’t know how he’s fighting it off, but he’s going feral.”

“No, if he dies—” Kitt begins before his voice chokes off.

Their thoughts are in my head but distant, a low buzz. It’s as far away from them as I’ve ever been. I don’t like it, but not even they can pierce this haze now.

They are right, I’m fighting, but it’s a losing battle.

“Kill me!” I roar. “Do not let me hurt anyone.”

“We are not killing him!” Ferol yells, silencing them.

Pressing my face to the dirt, I try to disguise her smell with it. “Please, please, please, please, kill me, kill me, please. I don’t want to hurt you.”

I can hear them arguing, but I lose time.