Page 89

“If that’s okay?”

I move my legs to the side so he can sit down before I pass her over to him. He’s as still as a statue while he holds her, his gaze never leaving her little face.

“I’m not sure I was ever meant to be a dad. It gets beaten into you that you’re supposed to get married and have a kid, so after we lost our first, I felt like it was my duty to keep trying, but a part of me knew it wasn’t what I really wanted.”

He runs the back of his finger along Reina’s cheek. “I felt so damn guilty every time you had a miscarriage because I thought it was my fault we lost them. Like maybe I was putting something into the universe to make it happen. The emotions were eating me alive, and I started pulling away from you. I didn’t want to go to therapy because then I’d have to admit that losing our babies was my fault.”

“Chris.”

“No, let me finish.” He takes a deep breath. “When I took that job in Seattle without talking to you about it first, I think I was testing you to see if you’d stick around no matter what. Then, the drug use started after one of the partners assigned me to the biggest client we had. Something in my brain flipped after that. I started treating you like a possession. I said so much shit—sorry—stuff I didn’t mean. It was like I was watching my life from the outside, and I didn’t recognize who I was anymore. Things went downhill from there, as you’re well aware.

“You leaving snapped me out of whatever haze I’d been in, and I realized my life was spiraling out of control. You were the only constant I had. The idea of you not being there anymore sent me into a tailspin. I’m sorry for all the shit I put you through, Kylie. I truly am, and I hope that you’ll be happier now.”

He presses a kiss to the top of Reina’s head and then passes her back to me. “I loved you, even if it doesn’t seem that way now. And I’ll always love her.” He then presses a kiss to the top of my head, and I close my eyes against the overwhelming sadness that fills me.

“Take care, Kylie.” Chris turns and leaves my room without another glance.

CHAPTER 40

Grayson

Imove toward the hospital bed as Chris leaves. I’d be lying if I said his confession didn’t affect me. The guy made some shitty choices, but I know he loved Kylie in his own way. To walk away from his daughter because she’ll have a better life without him is the most selfless thing he could’ve done for her.

Kylie won’t cut him out of Reina’s life. I already know that without having to ask. And I don’t think she should either. But he’s got a long way to go before we can trust him with our baby.

I carefully place Reina into the little bassinet next to the hospital bed before climbing in to hold Kylie. She cries into my chest, releasing all the emotions that Chris has stirred up in her—not just today, but for years.

It takes her several minutes to let it all go. I hold her tight to my chest while I stroke her back until her tears finally dry and we’re sitting in the silence of her hospital room. I’m shocked we haven’t been interrupted by a nurse yet. It’s more likely they tried to come in, heard her sobbing, and decided to leave us be for a while.

“I’m sorry,” she says with a hoarse voice.

“Why the fuck are you sorry?” I reach over to grab several tissues for her.

She playfully pokes me. “Language. It’s a wonder London doesn’t have a mouth like yours.”

I chuckle, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Don’t distract me. What are you apologizing for?”

“The mess I brought into your life. I knew things weren’t going to be sunshine and rainbows when I decided to divorce Chris, but I never imagined it would lead us here.”

“Neither did I, but I swear on my life that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. You’re endgame for me, Ladybug. I’ve never wanted anything in my life more than I want you. No matter what it takes, I’m going to hold on to you. I thought I could let you go if it meant you were happy, but I was wrong. I’d be a shell of a man if I lost you.”

“I wouldn’t be the same without you either. I’m eternally grateful that you stuck by my side through all these years.”

“And I’ll still be here when we’re old and snipping at each other because we can’t hear worth a damn.”

She looks up at me with a watery laugh. “I love you, Grayson Reed.”

“I love you too, Kylie maybe-one-day Reed.”

Her eyes widen. “Was that supposed to be a marriage proposal?”

“Uhhhh, yes?” My answer definitely comes out as a question.

She just looks at me expectantly, and I finally figure out what she wants from me.

Brushing her hair back with my hands, I catalog every one of her gorgeous features. “Kylie Thatcher,” I start, leaving out her married name. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“Absolutely.”