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“This is an opportunity you may not get again. You can do more as governor.”
He drummed faster. She gave a tiny sigh, then pushed the red stress ball over the polished mahogany. It had been a Christmas present from his daughter—embedded with the term Mayoral Tension Reliever—and he’d been crushing it ever since, like a dog gnawing on a favorite bone. He began squeezing, and the give under his fingers took him down a notch. “Or I may get less done. You know the higher up the ladder, the less you make a difference.”
“If that’s what you believe. Staying mayor will be an easier route.”
He snorted, cutting her a glance. “Trying to challenge my ego to get me to run?”
“We need less ego in politics, Jonathan. Not more.”
He raised a brow. “Well said.”
“You were the one who said it.”
“Damn, I’m good.”
The slight tug at her bottom lip made him feel as if he’d won American Ninja Warrior. The woman didn’t smile often, but when she did, it was like a gift. And why the hell was he concentrating on that ridiculous thought?
“It’ll be hell on Earth once we make the announcement. I almost lost my daughter over the mayoral election. I can’t lose myself like that again.”
Ah, he had regrets. He’d been so focused on being mayor after moving on from his position as district attorney that he’d ignored her needs, chalking it up to teen angst. Instead, she’d been crying for his attention, the loss of her mother still tearing her apart. Jonathan had been able to bury the grief deep enough and soothe it with work. But Chloe had needed to talk, and feel, and do all that girl stuff that was important but that he mostly sucked at. Looking back, he realized what an ass he’d been, and he’d sworn to always put her first from now on.
He waited for sympathy but, of course, Alyssa only shrugged. “That was then. This is now. Mia’s a crackerjack and will get you through. Bob’s a pro and got you here. Chloe’s in a solid place with her career and no longer as raw. You’ve both grown.” She narrowed her gaze. “Do you want it? Aside from the rush of power being governor will bring? Because, if you don’t, that’s where it will all go wrong.”
She was right. It was hard chipping past the amazing adrenaline blast of imagining himself as governor of New York State. He squeezed the ball and really looked inward and swore not to flinch. He liked being respected. Loved having big-time contacts and the ability to change things. But did he want this for himself and his career, or did he believe this new course could make the state a better place?
He thought of Chloe, and his late wife, Catherine, and the people he fought for daily knowing he’d only succeed in a fraction of what he wanted to accomplish. It was a path of bitter disappointment and heartbreaking cynicism. But, God, he wanted a chance to try. To be a better man. To push himself to think of the people’s needs instead of his ability to get a reservation at the hottest restaurants and schmooze with DC royalty.
No. He wanted more for everyone. And he’d regret it if he didn’t try.
He opened his mouth to tell her his decision.
“Good choice,” she said, her fingers tapping on the tablet screen. “I’ll schedule a meeting with Mia and Bob. Chloe said she’d be back in her office at two p.m., so I’ll text her you’ll be calling then. I’ll make a list of contacts you need to reach out to immediately—I assume you’re canceling dinner with Jack at Carmine’s tonight?”
He winced. “Ah, hell, I forgot. He’s the most boring man I’ve ever met. It’s like a disease.”
“Cherophobia,” she stated.
He tilted his head. “What?”
“The fear of fun. That’s what Jack probably has.”
He laughed. She was always spouting off strange and interesting facts, her brain an amazing apparatus that fascinated him. Too many women bored him after one dinner conversation. Alyssa had been challenging him regularly, so in a way, he’d been spoiled. “Finally, a true diagnosis I can understand.”
“I’ll cite a work emergency and order dinner in with the team.” She continued her endless checklist, making notes, shifting events, and taking care of what he needed before he knew he needed it. By the time she rose from the chair, the stress ball was resting still on the desk, and his mind was once again lasered in and settled. He caught a gentle whiff of her perfume—some clean, fresh-cotton scent. Or linen? In the beginning, it had struck him as no-nonsense, barely able to be called a cologne. Now, he took a deep breath and savored the smell. It reminded him of cool, soft sheets on naked skin. Non-flashy but memorable. They spent endless hours together, yet he still hadn’t cracked the essence of her—the core hidden behind the unbreakable shell.
For a long time, he hadn’t cared. It hadn’t mattered because they were good together. A perfect team who worked like a well-oiled machine.
Now, he craved more. To know the woman she was when she left the office. Who she loved and trusted. What she really wanted.
She paused as if sensing his sudden unease from his intimate thoughts. “Are you okay, Mr. Mayor?”
She wasn’t the type for red lipstick and preferred a rose gloss that gave just a hint of color and sheen. Sweat broke out on his skin as he suddenly imagined his mouth on hers, the gasp he’d swallow as his tongue dove deep, the bite of her nails in his shoulders, the feel of her tight body pressed against his.
He tore his gaze away and quickly swiveled his chair around, desperate to hide his sudden, alarming interest in his assistant. He needed to get his shit together. The campaign for governor was going to be long and hard, with cramped quarters and countless hours spent together. This was not the time to fall apart over a woman he’d known for two years, and who would quit and run screaming out of his life if she knew he was suddenly imagining her naked.
He’d fix it. Control it. Rationalize it away. Whatever he needed to do because now he had one goal.
Win.
