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I should've said something. No. What. Be safe? She knows. Don't take risks? She'd laugh in my face. I care about you? Absolutely fucking not. Instead I told her to eat. Excellent. Poetic.

I left the food before she came back. Water. Meat. Fruit. Bread. Towel. Book. The book had taken three weeks. Three fucking weeks. Two merchants. One librarian. A trader from Lyssara who tried to charge me triple because the edition was out of print. Worth it. Probably.She better have eaten. Stupid thought. Possibly dead. No.

My chest constricts. I reach again. Nothing.

"Fuck." Vyrael feels it.

Distance.

"Maybe."

You are still far.

"I know."

Then stop deciding what silence means.

I hate when he's reasonable.

"Faster."

I am flying as fast as conditions allow .

"Faster." His irritation flashes.

You falling to your death will not assist her.

"Debatable." The bond warms briefly. Not amusement. Maybe. We continue.

By the next hour, Vyrael's anger returns. Less sharp. Still there.

You endangered Elarion .

"I know."

You endangered those deployed with you.

"I know."

You placed Caelen in command without consent .

"He'll survive."

That is not the point.

"I know."

There it is. Everything tonight ends there. I know. I know I'm wrong. I know I'm selfish. I know responsibility doesn't stop mattering because I'm scared. I know hundreds of people in Elarion needed experienced command. I know the Hollowborn could attack there tonight. I know this could be exactly what they want. Divide us. Pull Varethia's strongest away. Then pull us back. Scatter command. Make us choose.

And I chose.

Her.

The realization lands without permission. I hate it.

Not her. Never her. The choice. Because I didn't hesitate. Not really. The messenger said first-year. My body was moving before my mind finished the sentence. I didn't know if it was Eirea. Didn't matter.

I needed to see her. Needed proof. Breathing. Standing. Probably insulting me. Anything.