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Claws sink into my chest and rip it apart. Blood sprays, my sternum snapping open to splay my ribcage. The darkness pours into me, burning my exposed, pumping heart, searing my soul hidden within. Alasdair laughs louder and louder until the room shatters.

I crash into the ground. My pounding heartbeat is in my ears as I claw at myself, my heels scraping along the floor, until I rip open my shirt. The skin there is intact, but I know there is something inside me. Something Alasdair placed there. Something that will force its way into the chambers of my heart.

Blue light flashes as my magic surges and fails over and over, and I grind my teeth to remain silent while I try to force Alasdair’s magic from me. My skin ripples with my power, ice dripping from the ceiling like deadly knives. I shiver, my breath misting, my eyes stinging from the cold as my lungs choke. But it’s no use. Alasdair was too fast, and his magic has already sunk too deep within me, leaving no trace. A bone-deep chill rattles me when a voice warps in my mind.

She doesn’t have the capacity to love…

“Shit,” I hiss and grip my head until it feels like my skull is going to crack. “Get out.”

I left Vincentius’ ring on him, and Astoria saw…

No. She was recovering from a corruption surge. She wasn’t in her right mind. The Magistrate’s officers arrived. She didn’t have time to comprehend it.

But they told her they were looking for my father. Lucas’ panic, his trembling, as he relived what it was like to be told that his own loved ones were dead. He told me even though it broke a part of him to be the one to bear it. Did Astoria know what happened to his grandmother and mother? Did she know it would hurt him to be forced to relive that nightmare?

He sparked with so much delicious agony earlier because of you. Like a beacon in the night, it allowed me to discover these little secrets he kept so well hidden.

Sickness surges so violently that I gag, whipping to my side as my stomach convulses. I did this. I taunted Lucas with Dimitar because I couldn’t stand the heartbreak that Astoria turned me away. Alasdair is right. I am cruel, just like I was raised to be.

A low groan from the bed has me stilling. The voice in my head goes quiet, and I claw my way back up to the bed. Lucas is curled up in a shivering ball on his side, his breath visible in the cold. His ashen, pale skin is clammy under my palm when I lay a hand on his bare shoulder gently. There are no signs of further injury from Alasdair’s dark magic. My power retracts within me, the ice disappearing until the chill leaves the air. The shivering stops.

Lucas opens his eyes and blearily looks up at me. They’re glassy like he’s unwell with a fever. The sedative I gave him was incredibly strong and must’ve given Alasdair an opening to infect his dreams. An opening Alasdair was only able to exploit because he found a way to slip the wards. A weakness that could only be from an absence of a head of the family line.

My father is dead.

I choke on air and grind my teeth. Keep it together. Just keep it together. My unsteady hand strokes Lucas, and I whisper in a shockingly calm voice, “Go back to sleep. I’m here.”

Lucas licks his dry lips sluggishly. “Dream…”

He trails off, and I swallow, seizing control of my body with all my strength. “Yes, just a dream. Go to sleep.”

But Lucas doesn’t close his eyes. I watch with a sinking feeling as he slowly realizes what has happened. His eyes clear more and more with each blink, his body tightening until his gaze drops with a shudder. Something within me cracks. I withdraw my hand from him and curl it into a tight fist.

In the quiet of the room, I ask, “Are you alright?”

Lucas’ jaw tightens before he releases his held breath in a rush. “I’m fine. I’m… I’m just… It’s not something I…” His gaze drifts to the side table where a full glass of water sits. I snatch it up and hold it out to him. He blinks at it before shifting up to lean against the headboards stiffly. The sheen of sweat on him, either from the pain surfacing now that he’s awake or the horrors he relived, glistens in the moonlight. He accepts the water. “I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth to keep the harsh words within. May the Tapestry give me strength to not yell at this kind fool. I face him again. “Do not apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong.” I’m tapping the bedspread and flattening out my hand. “Yesterday, I taunted you with an insinuation about the nature of your business with Dimitar. It was cruel, and I should not have said it. Forgive me for my thoughtlessness.”

His throat works, and he looks away sharply. He downs half the water before replying. “It’s alright. You didn’t know. No one does.”

I blink. “No one?”

He shakes his head.

A memory from our time together in his apothecary friend’s apartment surfaces, one that I usually enjoy reliving but now fills me with sickening weight.

My lips trail along Lucas’ unshaven jaw, a wicked delight building within me as I slip my fingers roughly into his willing mouth in a sinful tease. “I’m very tempted to mount your face right now. Think you could suck cock while I fuck your mouth into the mattress?”

Lucas shivers in response. I withdraw my fingers to drag his lip down and demand, “Answer me.”

Lucas’ voice is rough, and I watch his mouth, transfixed, as he says, “I’d probably gag. I don’t usually let men be rough with me like that.”

“Would you let me?”

Lucas licks his lips, his breathing ragged. “Yeah. Fuck. Yes. I would.”

The question comes out before I can stop myself, my voice low in the darkness. “Is that why you don’t let men be rough with you?”