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Lynx bit his lip but didn’t say anything.

I didn’t either. I didn’t know how.

Luca took two steps forward to stand in front of me, his expression stony.

Until it broke, and he dropped down to his knees. “Nyah,” he croaked out.

That one word, my name, sounded so tortured I couldn’t stand it.

I dropped down onto the gravel with him, not caring that it sent pain through my knees.

He tugged me into his arms and buried his face in my neck, trembling as he held me. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

He muttered it in my ear again, his tears wet against my cheek, and no shame in them. He didn’t try to hide them or brush them away.

For maybe the first time ever, Luca Guerra, cold-hearted Mafia prince, let someone see him cry.

“It’s not your fault,” I whispered.

His eyes were red-rimmed when he shook his head. “Don’t let me off the hook. I don’t deserve that.”

I squinted at him, trying to understand why he was so hell-bent on blaming himself. “None of this was you. You didn’t kill your father, or force me to marry you, or take my baby. You aren’t your uncle.”

His breaths were ragged. “No, but I don’t deserve your forgiveness either. I know what it feels like now to have someone taken from you. I know the agony of not knowing is something you can’t forget, no matter what you do or don’t do. It’s always there, just lurking. Even if you think you forgot for a moment, the physical ache in your chest soon reminds you. How many mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters did I do this to when we sold their daughters or sisters? How many lives did we ruin trying to chase down money and power?”

I opened my mouth to remind him he’d been brought up in this world. He hadn’t chosen it. And maybe he had gotten himself out of it too late for the world to forgive him.

But I could. I had. I knew what he’d done, and I loved him anyway. There was no choice in that. My heart wanted him, no matter what he’d done.

But the one thing my heart didn’t need was his guilt or his apologies.

“How long are you going to punish yourself?” I asked him. “Because there is nothing I need to forgive.”

“I couldn’t find him.”

“I know. But neither could I or anyone else.”

Luca’s gaze burned into mine. “I’m not giving up.”

I kissed his mouth softly. “I know. But you need to stop and rest. Let someone else take the lead for a minute.” I took in every inch of his haggard face. “You look like shit and you smell like a brewery. Jesus, Luca, did you bathe in alcohol before you got here?”

Lynx grimaced at that. “The only way I could get him here at all was to get him so drunk he didn’t realize where we were going. There was no time for a shower.”

My heart squeezed. “You didn’t want to come back?”

His grip on my wrists tightened. “I just didn’t want to come back without him. I promised you…” He shook his head fiercely, then winced, pressing his fingers to his temples. “I’m too old for hangovers of this magnitude.”

There was no point worrying about promises that had been made that Luca could never have been sure he could keep. At least with him here and Lynx here, I had two parts of my heart back. “Come down to the clubhouse and have a shower. You still have clothes here. You’ll feel better.”

He shook his head. “We’re already late. I’ll just stand at the back.”

I stared at him. “Is that what you really want? Me and Dax to stand up there in front of everyone without you?”

He didn’t even hesitate. “No.” He threaded his fingers through mine. “I want to stand there with you.”

Lynx breathed out what sounded like a sigh of relief.

Mine joined his. “Then go and have a shower. We’ll wait.” I kissed him again. “I’ll always wait for you. No matter how long we’re apart, I’ll always wait.”