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He shook his head. “I’m not him anymore. I’d prefer to stay Derek.”

“Are you worried?”

“That all my friends are going to be pissed that I lied for literally years? Or about the cold-blooded killers coming after me?” Derek asked wryly. “Yeah, a little. To both.”

“I guess I’d probably be worried about a bunch of pissed-off vampires too,” I said, realizing for the first time that maybe he was worried about his safety.

He snorted. “Nah. It’s not like that. What they are doesn’t mean shit to me. It never has. Who they are does—that’s what actually matters. And they’re good people. All of them.” He paused for a long moment—long enough that I wasn’t sure if he was going to say more—before adding, “I guess I’m worried that maybe I hurt their feelings. That they’ll feel betrayed. That they won’t…”

He let that trail off, but his expression went stricken.

“They’ll forgive you,” I said. And it was true. Derek hadn’t had much of a choice. And they cared about him. All of them did.

“I hope so. Listen, though—the blood bond isn’t the end-all, be-all, okay? I want it, but only if you do too. If and when you’re ever ready, we’ll reassess, okay?”

I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth: that he was dead-on before. I could never establish a blood bond with him. Even if my refusal caused him pain. Even if it meant always keeping him at arm’s length. Even if he could never even really understand why.

Because he could never know—really know—what I had done. There was a massive difference between hearing about it and seeing it firsthand. And, worst of all, experiencing what I had felt when I had done unspeakable, awful things.

Which was absolutely nothing.

A total emptiness. A numbness to everything I was doing. The memory of it made me want to recoil in horror now, but at the time, it had been the most freedom I’d ever felt in my entire life.

He could never know that, deep down, there was a part of me that had enjoyed it.

I loved him with everything I had inside of me. I hadn’t said it yet, but it was true. But he could never love me back. Not if he knew the truth.

CHAPTER SEVEN || QUINN

“Do you know him?” Sadie demanded two hours later, frowning at Derek. There was a terrified-looking lanky brown-haired man with bright blue eyes standing beside her. He looked to be in his mid-twenties, approximately as old as Derek. Her perfectly manicured hand was literally around his throat. With a sneer, she added, “He says he knows you.”

We were standing in the conference room of the motel—apparently it had one, who knew—along with Thierry and Bryan, a blond vampire I knew in passing, who looked to be in his early twenties. His broad-shouldered mate, Tobias—a warlock and Poppy’s fraternal twin brother—stood beside him. Tall and regal Simone, with her ebony skin and fathomless dark eyes, rounded out the strange menagerie of supernatural creatures gathered in the very mundane airport motel conference room.

“Allen, tell them!” the brown-haired man managed, though his voice was thin and reedy with fear. “Please! They’re freaking me out.”

“Allen?” Thierry demanded, giving Derek a strange look. “Would you mind explaining why he has no idea who Derek Evans is? Why he’s calling you Allen?”

Derek swallowed, his spine ramrod straight, practically vibrating with tension.

“Because I’m—I’m not—” He sucked in a deep breath. “Derek isn’t my real name.”

Every vampire in the conference room, apart from me, stared at him blankly.

“Excuse me?” Sadie said coldly. “Why on earth would you lie to us?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Thierry said, frowning at her. “He’s running from something.” Then, to Derek, he said, “I knew it. Your accent is all wrong when you’re drinking. Traces of Georgia, right?”

“I grew up outside Atlanta,” Derek said stiffly.

“I’ve had many names over the years,” Simone said softly, her gaze searching Derek’s face. “You must have been very afraid of something.”

“Yes, to resort to lying to all of us,” Sadie said harshly, glaring at Derek.

He flinched.

“He was running from my family.” Brent shot Sadie a glare—brave of him, considering that she would’ve been easily able to break his neck without blinking. “I was the one who saved his life. I helped him escape.”

“That’s true,” Derek said. “He was the one who warned me today, too.”