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But there was a part of me that had been hoping—praying—I might allow myself to be close to him in this way. That I could trust myself enough with his safety.

And I had never trusted myself more than I did right now, not since the first moment I laid eyes on Derek. The truth of our connection was simple and pure. I’d never felt less like a vampire and more like a man than I did right then.

“I wasn’t before,” I told him. “I thought it would be good to be prepared, though. Just in case.” Then I added, repeating myself, “But I’m ready now. Seriously. I want to do this with you. If you do?”

Derek searched my gaze a moment longer, as if to reassure himself that I wasn’t kidding—myself or him—and then his lips parted and the hunger returned to his eyes.

Very slowly, he made his way back to the bed. He set the bottle of lubricant on the bed beside us and the condom next to it. “That’s for you, if you want it,” I told him. “Obviously, vampires can’t catch or transmit diseases. But I’d understand if you—”

“No, that’s okay,” Derek said. He pulled me upright and, with both hands on my hips, helped me into a sitting position so that he was between my legs at the edge of the bed. He pressed his lips to mine, pulling my body close against him.

The kiss was more forceful this time, almost rough, but still somehow also filled with tenderness. Between his tongue dominating mine and his warm, masculine body against me, I began to grow hard.

He was already there. I could feel it through his pants as he gripped my hips firmly, pinning me in place, his hot and stiff cock rubbing against the cleft of my ass through my jeans.

In a few minutes, I’d know what it felt like to have another man inside of me for the first time. And not just any man. The one I loved. My mate. My Derek.

I let out a soft noise, halfway between a whimper and a moan, as his lips moved to my neck and he kissed me along the side of my throat.

His touch was gentle and very sure as he drew back and pulled my shirt up and over my head. My fingers were shaky and fumbling as I struggled to get his shirt open.

He smiled and helped me, undoing the last two buttons. Then he scrambled out of it and tossed it to the floor.

His bare chest was perfect. A dusting of hair right in the middle, hard and flat muscles with just the tiniest bit of belly to stop him from being too perfect, which was, in itself, exactly right—there was a seductive bit of hair on his stomach, leading down and vanishing into the waist of his pants.

I reached for his belt and undid it.

“We can still stop if you need to,” he assured me, putting a warm and soothing hand on my chest. His gaze searched mine. “Seriously, Quinn. I want you to be sure. Just say the words and we don’t have to go any further. No questions asked. It doesn’t matter what we’re in the middle of, okay? We can stop any time you need to.”

I nodded, my gaze drinking in the expression he wore—a mix of tenderness, lust, and concern. Somehow, it was so perfectly him.

He helped me get my pants and underwear off. Then I was naked before him, my cock dripping and hard. Then he pushed me gently onto the bed, so that I was lying flat.

“I’m going to be very gentle,” he assured me. “But if it hurts, tell me and we can try something else. Promise?”

I felt a tiny bit of trepidation, though less than I might’ve expected to feel, given that this was my first time with a man.

“Yeah, I promise. I’ll tell you.”

“Okay. Close your eyes.”

I bit my lower lip, my unease ratcheting up. “Derek?”

“Do you trust me?”

I nodded.

“Good. Close your eyes, Quinn. I’ve got you, I promise.”

Swallowing hard, I did as he asked, expecting—well, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting—but I already knew that being on bottom for the first time was sometimes kind of painful. I gritted my teeth against the sudden pain of being entered by another man.

What I definitely wasn’t expecting was the sensation of Derek’s warm breath on my entrance. It was followed immediately by his smooth, hot tongue laving against me.

My eyes flew open and I let out a startled cry. It wasn’t bad, just incredibly intense, as if every nerve in my body was concentrated right there.

He pulled back, his head between my legs. His gaze met mine. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. I just—it feels good. Just… a lot.”