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It’s all genuinely fun, if a little overwhelming. There are just so many people here. But it’s exactly the kind of Christmas party I always imagined while growing up, full of laughter, good food, and cheer.

But the whole time, I can’t think properly. I keep replaying what happened with Ford and Hayden—and what Gabriel proposed.

What I accepted.

I stay close to Ford’s side, playing the role of his devoted fiancée. Part of it is that I think I should, to help sell our story. The other part is that I don’t want someone trying to flirt with me and pull me away from him.

If what Hayden said was true—if I really am someone that people find attractive and want to flirt with—then I’ve been oblivious all this time. I wish I’d known. I could’ve broken things off with Liam so much sooner, walked through life with more confidence. My inability to date these past couple years has partly been due to my demanding job, and I’m sure that wouldn’t have changed. But knowing that I could date, that I don’t have to be grateful every time a man bothers to take me to dinner… that would have changed everything.

Now, though, I only want the attention of three very specific men. I refuse to make Ford look bad or give any other man the impression that he has a chance with me. And since apparently I can’t tell when I’m being flirted with, sticking to Ford like glue seems like the safest strategy.

Ford keeps touching me in small ways throughout the evening, and of course he should as my supposed fiancé, but it feels different now. More intimate than before.

Because he’s touched you everywhere now, a voice in my head whispers.

And god, he really did. Him and Hayden both. And I want Gabriel to do the same. I want all three of them.

I wonder what everyone around us would think if they knew what we’d done at this very party, in a room just down the hall while they all talked and laughed. If they knew what Gabriel proposed right in front of them, but quietly enough that they couldn’t hear. What we all agreed to.

Part of me is terrified that when we get back to the house, one or all of them will decide this was ridiculous. A stupid, reckless idea that’s going to get us all hurt. And maybe it will hurt me. I know myself—I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. But Gabriel is right about what he said.

This is my first real Christmas. I should get to enjoy it. I should get to have what I want. This will be my Christmas present to myself, to make up for all those years I had to spend alone at home, pinching pennies.

And if Ford, Hayden, and Gabriel are truly okay with sharing… if they all genuinely want me… and I want them… it’s not like I’m ever going to get another opportunity like this.

After this holiday, I’m going to take the money Ford pays me and erase my debt, put a down payment on a place, and start my restaurant. That’s going to be my life. And I’m going to be happy with it, but it won’t include these three incredible, sexy, confident men. I’m sure I’ll find someone else eventually—at least, I hope I will—but that someone won’t be them.

He won’t be these jaw-droppingly attractive, successful, amazing, once-in-a-lifetime men who used to be my bosses.

I should take this opportunity. I should let myself have what I want, something the Maeve of just a few weeks ago never would have dreamed was possible.

For once in my life, I feel like I deserve this. I deserve something sexy and fun and amazing. I get to be the girl who has the adventure, not the less attractive friend watching from the sidelines.

I smile and laugh at all the appropriate moments, mostly on autopilot. I think Ford might be running on autopilot too. He’s touching me constantly, always has a hand on me somewhere, and several times he kisses my cheek. It’s sweet, but not really necessary for our act. We’re definitely one of the more affectionate couples at this party.

My body is buzzing with anticipation by the time we’re finally heading home. This whole day has felt like a wild fantasy I might indulge in while lying in bed—not something that actually happens to people, especially people like me.

We get back to the house late, and everyone’s yawning as we say our goodnights. Elaine hugs me and gushes about how everyone loved me and all the compliments she received about me. Charles gives me what seems to be an approving look as he says goodnight. I guess with how well I did at the party, I finally passed his test.

We head upstairs to our bedrooms—to the room I share with Ford.

I’m hyperaware of him as we enter the room together, like a live wire ready to spark. There’s this crackling energy between us that feels like it might electrocute me. I was already conscious of him before, but now it’s so much more intense. Now we’ve actually been together. We’ve crossed that line. He knows what my body feels and looks like—and I know the same about him.

Even so, I can’t help turning away from him as I get ready for bed. I can’t tell if he sneaks glances or not. I do, stealing furtive looks from the corner of my eye.

He’s so handsome it’s almost unreal. And he wants me. So does Hayden. So does Gabriel.

We finish our bedtime routines and climb into bed. I’m actually pretty exhausted from everything that happened today, but I’m not sure how to act now. I try to stick to my side of the bed, although I think building a wall of pillows might be going too far at this point.

Ford looks at me with amusement dancing in his eyes and pulls me close, spooning me against his chest.

My heart skips a beat.

“Like I said the first night,” Ford murmurs, drawing his nose up the length of my neck like he did when we kissed in the hallway, “I won’t bite unless you want me to.”

I shiver involuntarily. I’m already pulsing between my legs—who knew that barely touching my neck like that would be such a turn-on?

Ford does, apparently. He and Hayden seem to know my body, understand my desires, and so does Gabriel, like they’ve been studying me. I like to think I’ve gotten to know them well over the past two years of working together. It just never occurred to me that they would care enough to pay such close attention to me in return.