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“You were the one who was planning to get us out, and then you just… vanished. Now you’re mad I’m here. I’m just…” livid…relieved? I didn’t know what to think.

The only answer was to become the Shadow Thorn needed and get back on track. “Has everything… changed?” I tried to keep my voice low so the guard behind us didn’t hear, but I probably didn’t achieve it.

“Yes. Everything.” He couldn’t even look at me as he said it.

I made myself focus on the path ahead, and what Thorn had asked of me instead of the fling I’d once had with the man walking beside me. Biting down on the inside of my cheek, I ignored the hurt twisting in my stomach.

The Third Night of Yule

— The Memory

This is the night we remember those we buried, and those we tried to forget. When the lost memories return, they won’t return in a blazing flame. They will come in fragmented bursts, like the pop of a wet log thrown onto a roaring fire.

Bar the doors and leave the fires blazing, for Yule seeks the truth hidden in the darkness and hidden in your slumber. When the veil thins, it will open every little crack in your heart.

What was locked away was not forgotten. The Earthworld remembers every step you took. The Skyworld has already seen what you tried to disguise. The Otherworld whispers from far overhead to those who will listen below.

Beware. For what you tried to hide will rise to meet you by the dawn.

The Ashen Grimoire

14

We hurried down the string-thin path, snow piled high on either side. I scanned the area, making note of markers that I could use to show me the way out if needed. After some time, there was a break in the towering evergreen firs, and I caught a glimpse of the snow-topped mountains. A volcano in the distance puffed out rings of smoke as phoenixes circled it.

When there was another break created by fallen trees, I caught sight of ruined Sky Arches boldly rising through the snow. The sight made me pause. If there were Sky Arches in the Ruckus, then what we’d been told in the Barren was wrong. The people of the Ruckus hadn’t always rejected the Skyworld and the phoenixes. They hadn’t always hated the lands that worshipped them. Once, people in this land had used the ancient footpaths and the arches for shelter while heading towards the mountain to claim their phoenixes.

“They’ll want to know why you’re here,” Aster whispered, as the fur around his hood collected snowflakes. “How we know each other…”

I had imagined seeing him, touching him again a hundred times over the last three years. None of those versions ended with me scanning the vicinity, looking for an escape route.

He led me down another path which grew narrower the further we walked, and the banks of snow on either side grew deeper. My breath fogged out in front of me as snowflakes fluttered through the air and landed on my eyelashes, clouding my vision. Underfoot, the ice-covered flagstones glittered in the moonlight, and as I tilted my head to look over at Aster, I skidded sideways. With a swiftness only constant training can achieve, he reached out and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me tightly against his chest as my legs slipped out from under me.

He righted me, but didn’t pull away, and I couldn’t push myself back either. His warm breath brushed over my ice-cold cheeks. His eyes dipped to my lips, and his parted a little. I fought the urge to lean into him and claim some of his strength for myself. He was just as imposing and beautiful as I remembered him to be. Maybe more so now that time had created a longing to taste him again.

So many things needed to be said, but I couldn’t form the words until I remembered his statement.

“How do we know each other?” I raised an eyebrow, challenging him to take the bait.

Instead, his eyelids closed for a second, and then he stepped back, letting me go and shutting me out. “You shouldn’t…” His hand tugged at his hair, and he focused on the snow-covered trees and the darkening sky beyond. As if he wanted to forget all about what we had done in the shadows… as Shadows.

When the silence and distance between us became too hard to bear, I changed the subject. “Do you know what’s been going on in Craven over the last few years?” I said. “Or did you never look back?” I tried and failed to hide my bitterness.

The warrior who had found me in the cage coughed behind us, and Aster glared at him, then motioned for me to keep moving.

“Talking is a bad idea,” he said, his tone as cool as the winter forest around us.

“Are you serious?” The warrior was hanging on each and every word, and I bit down on my frustration. “You just abandoned us—” Me. “And here you were. You never even…” My voice was louder now. “You joined this…” I swept my arm towards the trees and snow and ice. And waited for him to deny it, wished for him to deny it, even if it was just with a look.

But his back straightened in defiance. “Feather…” He lifted his arm to run a hand over his stubble, and a collection of leather bracelets poked out from beneath his black shirt. His gaze flicked to three more warriors approaching. “You were safe in that city, but… gods, you never could keep out of trouble for long.”

“I think three years is actually impressive?” I wanted him to smile at me the way he used to. Just once.

“Depends what you were doing in that time.”

Our eyes locked, and I couldn’t bear the way my insides clenched at not knowing if I could trust him. So I picked up my pace and headed down the path with no idea where I was going, but cataloguing every branch as I went.

“Know where you’re going?” he asked, and I tutted in reply but didn’t slow down. “You were meant to be safe, but then that old witch found out you were in the library and started meddling. Getting you to lift all those books.” His voice was barely a whisper.