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He had been wrong about me. I was a vile beast. A selfish, vile beast. Only caring about myself in this moment. Delighting in the way he kissed me back slowly. Torturously.

And when I wanted his tongue deeper, he obeyed me, his relaxing tempo agonizingly painful.

I ran my hands across his broad shoulders, then down along the taut muscles of his back, getting a peek at his dark chest hair where the collar of his shirt had fallen open from our kissing. The necklace I’d seen him remove at the lake fully exposed: a thin leather strap with two circled shapes hanging at the bottom.

I paused our kissing to reach for it, but Adrian’s hand stilled mine, stopping me before my fingers could touch it.

He looked conflicted. Upset.

Our little bubble we’d just created bursting with his change in emotion. The momentary lapse in passion like a dousing of frigid water.

“What are we doing?” I whispered, lifting off him. Touching my swollen lips, mortified.

“Hey,” Adrian whispered, standing to reach for me. “This isn’t on you. It’s on me, Princess. I’m sorry for making you cross a line you didn’t want to cross.”

“Save it. You didn’t make me do anything. We both know that.” I brushed past him to sit on the bed. “I just don’t understand how I can feel this way . . . for the both of you.”

Adrian adjusted his shirt, tucking his necklace back inside it. “It’s complicated.”

“Then un-complicate it for me. Tell me what we were before this life.” I grimaced. “Did the two of you share me?”

Adrian growled. “I can promise you, neither of us shares.”

“Then who did I choose? Because I know myself, and I would have picked. I wouldn’t have done this.”

“It’s getting late. And it’s probably not the best time to unpack your romantic history on the eve of Delirium.” He sat down next to me, staring down at the floor. “After Delirium, I’ll tell you everything. Will you accept that?” He lifted a section of my hair that rested against my chest, and moved it over my shoulder so he could run his hand the rest of the way down my back. “I need you to focus tomorrow, Bryn. I need you to be ready for anything. But after, when you’re back here, and we’re celebrating, we’ll talk.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

I sighed, throwing myself down on the bed.

What had I just gotten myself into?

I couldn’t sleep, despite the gentle thrumming of raindrops against the windowpanes.

My mind raced with thoughts of Delirium and the man who slept beside me. Whose arm had reached for me in sleep, and I’d allowed to rest on top of me while I stared at the ceiling.

I had to be honest with myself about what this was. I wanted to be with Adrian as much as I did Leo. My heart torn in two equal pieces.

Away from Leo, I’d forgotten that tethered bond to him and had let Adrian claim me. Well, almost.

Had past-life Bryn struggled with this, too?

I should’ve forced Adrian to tell me everything. Not knowing was turning out to be worse for my mental well-being. Maybe if I knew that I had picked Adrian over Leo in my past life, or vice versa, I would at least be able to fall asleep before the trials.

I felt Adrian stir next to me, slowly removing his arm from across me.

I closed my eyes, keeping my breathing even, pretending to be asleep.

He kissed the side of my head, his lips lighter than a feather, then got up. Slipping on his boots by the door.

He was leaving me. And it made my heart sink.

When I heard the bedroom door open, then close, I got up and changed into my uniform. I didn’t know where he was going, but I had to talk to him. If he regretted this, I needed to know.

He probably just went to get some water, I reasoned with myself.