Page 98

Iryana nodded, guilt clenching her stomach. She ran her hand through the warm water, watching the ripples.

Pyetar didn’t quite know the extent of the damage her dual-forgings were doing to her. Didn’t know it was slowly killing her. She considered telling him, but what would adding that to his worries accomplish? She knew he would insist they return immediately and he would never want her to go beyond the wall again.

It was pointless to worry about something that was slowly killing her when there were so many things in this world that could do it faster.

Sinking lower into the water, Iryana let the soothing warmth cover her shoulders.

“Are you enjoying being general more, now?” Iryana asked tentatively.

Pyetar’s shoulders stiffened. “Honestly? No. I hate it. I hate everything about it.”

“Even though you’re clearly making things better?”

He shook his head.

“Perhaps the River Brigades would let you step down if the alliance can hold between the brigades and the clans. It would put a lot of pressure on whoever came next to stay in line.”

He nodded. “Perhaps. Could still be a way off.”

“We’ll get through it, though, right?”

His eyes met hers, dark and doubtful. “Yeah, of course.”

She worried about him. She couldn’t imagine having to step into his brother’s shoes, with all the expectations and comparisons swirling around. All the associations he must have about the role.

And he still wouldn’t talk about his brother, not with her at least.

“You’re certainly better liked than Karvek was,” she said, watching his expression.

“He had his devoted followers, but that’s what happens when you lead with fear and control.” His voice sounded even, normal.

She believed him when he’d said he wasn’t upset for how she had to grow closer to Karvek, that he didn’t blame her for it. But there was another worry nagging at her because something was clearly still bothering him.

“About Karvek…” She trailed off, still watching him closely.

“We don’t need to talk about him,” Pyetar said quickly, but she could see him shutting down.

She almost left it at that but just couldn’t do it.

“We do, actually. What’s the problem?” If she didn’t push him now, she was sure he would just keep it all festering inside. “You blame me? For killing your brother?”

“No, no.” Pyetar moved through the water until he was beside her, those blue eyes wide with shock. “Is that what you thought? That I was upset about you killing Karvek?”

She swallowed. “You never want to talk about him. If you’re not upset that I was… with him, it’s my best guess. I did murder your brother. And I know he was awful, but he was still your brother. And you had to watch me kill him. I wouldn’t blame you for being conflicted about that and—”

“No, Iryana.” His expression was firm. “Fuck Karvek, I’m glad you killed him.”

“Then what is it? Is it because you don’t want to know how far I went with—”

Pyetar covered her mouth with his hand, face warped with pain. He took a calming breath before he spoke.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to tell me. I know… things were complicated. I’m certainly not upset with you for anything that may or may not have happened. And if you really do want to talk to me about it, we can. I would just… need some time to prepare.”

He finally removed his hand from her mouth.

“So… that’s it?” she asked, suddenly exhausted.

He sighed. “No, not all of it. I… found one of the older captains who knows where my father had sent my mother.”