Page 191

“I know.” She pushed off the stool and took a few steps away to reclaim some distance, so she could breathe. With a tug, she pulled her shirt down over the bandage.

“I know, Hadi. I promise. I am trying, I’m doing the best I can with everything. I know it’s not enough.”

It felt like nothing was enough. She was trying so hard to lock her feelings away and dive headfirst into everything that needed her attention.

Hadima shuddered.

She needed to hold the post, hold the wall. Stay strong so everyone had time to retreat. But she was a warrior and if she wanted to help, she had to stand against the dakii. But she couldn’t help fight the beasts if she couldn’t settle her magic. And she couldn’t settle her magic if she couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. And she couldn’t figure that out if she couldn’t even find time to sleep.

“You’re doing fine,” Hadima said gently, placing her supplies back on the table. “I’m sorry for pushing. I’m just—”

“Worried. I know.”

They were quiet for a moment, both staring at the bowl of rags and blood-tinged water on the table between them.

“You should stop helping at the front.”

Iryana wanted to argue, to tell her sister she could handle it, but Hadima was right.

“I’ll limit it as much as possible.” Iryana felt her hands clench into fists. “But I’m not letting this place fall without a fight.”

“I wouldn’t recognize you if you did.” But Hadima sounded worried.

Before she could comfort her sister, a knock sounded at the workshop door.

“Come in,” Hadima called.

Misha slipped through the door, still bundled up from being on watch.

“What’s wrong?” Iryana asked.

“Pyetar sent for us,” Misha explained, brow furrowed. “We need to come quickly and quietly.”

Iryana straightened, immediately alert. “Us? The whole clan? Is something wrong?”

“No…” Misha shook her head. “Just us.”

She started pulling her coats back on. “Did he say why?”

“He didn’t.”

“It’ll be okay,” Hadima said, about as convincing as if she’d said the snow would melt tomorrow.

“Let’s just see what he wants.” They could panic after they knew what it was.

Gods, she couldn’t handle more complications. More bad news. She just couldn’t take it.

As soon as they were bundled up, they headed out. Iryana hurried alongside Hadima as they followed Misha through the courtyard and village houses to the sea of makeshift tents and structures.

A soldier was waiting to lead them through the camp and they followed silently. The deeper they went, the more her stomach churned. The more her mind conjured reasons Pyetar might be summoning them.

When they stopped outside a tent set back from the others, Iryana’s heart was racing. Pyetar stood right outside, a few soldiers farther out, creating a perimeter of sorts. He did not look happy to be there.

“What’s in that tent?” she demanded as she stepped past her sisters, approaching Pyetar.

He winced.

“That person who wanted a meeting…” Pyetar stumbled on the words.