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“And I feel so bad,” Hadima sobbed, “To still love someone who became so horrible.”

“Shhh.” Iryana’s eyes started to water too. The thought of Hadima’s love for their father was painful, but she tried to see past that. To see the little girl who had lost someone who had once been whole and so important to her. She didn’t want Hadima to blame herself, to feel bad about it. Didn’t want Misha to feel bad for not knowing him before.

“Things are messy,” Iryana said, trying to find the right words for what she’d realized. “People are messy. He can be multiple things. He can be the dad you remember before his injury. He can be the villain that Misha knows. And he can be what I remember, too. It’s okay that we all remember different parts of him. And maybe what he became doesn’t entirely get rid of who he used to be.”

Iryana squeezed Hadima tight. “And… one day I’ll want to hear some more stories about him from when we were young. From your eyes. Get to know the father you lost. The one that died when he was injured.”

“Me too,” Misha admitted.

Hadima looked at them both, one at a time, such tender relief in those hazel eyes. “I’d like that.”

They held each other tightly, no one moving to get up.

“I know I shouldn’t say this, I’m the oldest after all…” Hadima sniffed. “But I’m scared. So many people are dying, and it’s just getting worse. I was hiding in the storage closet this afternoon crying, and I had this memory of Dad from when I used to get scared when we were leaving Klees. He’d put me on his shoulders and tell me I was too big now to be scared. That I was even bigger than him, and he wasn’t afraid.”

Iryana leaned her head on Hadima’s shoulder. “I think we’re all afraid, Hadi.”

“I’m afraid,” Misha admitted.

Hadima pretended to gasp in shock. “No, I don’t believe it. Not you, Mishi, you’re fearless!”

Iryana chuckled, wiping away some of her tears, as Misha rolled her eyes. She was smiling, though.

Hadima kissed Misha’s head, sobering. “You’re allowed to be scared. It would be stupid not to be.”

“Bravery isn’t about not being afraid,” Iryana added. “It’s about doing what you have to do anyway. You’re both some of the bravest people I know.”

“You’re brave too,” her sisters said at the same time.

Iryana couldn’t help but laugh again, even though she wanted to cry more. “We’re going to get through this. Because we’re brave and we have to. Just like we’ve gotten through everything else.”

The next day was a whirlwind. Iryana checked on the soldiers and other settlement groups, making sure everyone was doing all right in the cold. Vabihn’s wife had been sleeping more than usual, but the healers had said she was just recovering from the journey. Vabihn hovered over her anxiously, absently playing with their daughter. She also ran into Shahn, who paled instantly upon seeing her, and then darted away.

Everyone was getting along well enough. Well, other than early that morning when she’d had to pull Tonhald away from a soldier who had apparently been rough with Teshya during their imprisonment by Karvek.

She was just coming from a strategy meeting and found herself walking the hall with Pyetar, Major Tenar, and Hadima.

“But that’s all we really need right now,” Hadima explained. “With what the water settlements brought, we’re well stocked otherwise.”

“And we don’t know what the last village will bring,” Major Tenar added. There was still one water village unaccounted for, though Vaneshta was leading them, so Iryana wasn’t too worried.

Iryana mostly hung back while Hadima and the major talked. She felt drained after their meeting, her mind still slowly processing everything. Pyetar stood slightly behind his major, but he kept glancing back at Iryana. She tried not to notice.

“I like the fallback location,” the major directed at Pyetar.

Pyetar tore his eyes from her, responding, “It’s well-defensible, although it will struggle to hold everyone.”

They had reviewed the spot that Kladara and the villager had recommended, going over the map and the sketches they had made.

Iryana hated the discussion of a fallback location. The idea of failing to hold the border did not sit well with her. The Sky Valley had only had about a month left to retreat. She was sure the closest villages had easily made it, but the farther ones would still be struggling.

“We can’t allow the wall to fall,” Iryana said.

They all looked at her, doubt flashing on their faces. But Pyetar said, “We’ve reinforced everything we can, and the fortifications are working so far. I think we can hold against this degree of threat for a month. We have the soldiers to rotate everyone.”

“And are we ready for when it gets worse?” They had to assume it would.

Neither Pyetar nor Tenar met her eyes. It was the major who answered first. “You know the contingencies. We’ll move through them as slowly as we can if it comes to it.”