Page 19

“Mother?” I whisper, patting the side of the bed where she was sleeping. Rowe is tucked up on my other side, softly snoring. I climb out, the chill making me shiver as I throw on a cloak. It’s the middle of the night as I step out of our hut, the stars bright and bursting against the night sky like diamonds. My bare feet fidget on the icy wet wooden planks as I search for Mother, finding her a few feet away, looking up at the stars herself, a thick blanket pulled around her. Her long black hair is loose of her braid she usually wears, and it is moving in the breeze, the only part of her that isn’t still. She turns back, sensing me watching her. “It isn’t safe out here at night. Father warned me never to leave the hut.”

“Because he wants to protect you.” Her voice is always so soft, so clear compared to my father’s accent. “You look so much older than your young years when you speak like that.”

I walk over and she pulls me into her blanket at her side, the scent of lavender hitting me. She works in a big house in the city center, and they pay her to wash their clothes, leaving the same lavender smell clinging to her. I wash clothes at home, clean my father’s cooking tools and any work they bring home while watching Rowe. She is so pretty, everyone always says it. I want to be just like her when I’m older. “Why are you awake?”

“Nightmares…things about myself when I was not much older than you.” She strokes my back. “No matter how much I know I’m safe now, how much I know I’m not back there anymore because of your father, I still can’t keep the memories from haunting my dreams.” I wish my father was here and not working through the night.

“Where were you then?” I question, wondering if she is thinking about her childhood. I don’t know anything about her childhood, anything about where she was born or if she had family. Father’s parents lived in the hut we are in now, and he got it when they died of sickness. My mother has never answered a single question about her life.

She must be tired, because she looks at me, her eyes sharp. “In the hellhole I was born in, where blood and cruelty was the only power to be seen. Your father rescued me from it and took me in, fed me and hid me. I married him because he is the kindest man I have met.” She cups my cheek. “I’ve loved two men in my life, and I chose the kind one to be my forever. You should do the same.”

“Who did you love before?”

She doesn’t take her eyes off me. “A man who broke everything he touched…except me.”

I wake up with a gasp, reaching for my mother like she is still in this world. Like her words of wisdom on a starry night could be anything but the echoes of a ghost. She’s gone. He’s gone. Rowe isn’t. I remind myself of how he looks, of his dark hair and sweet smile as my heartbeat calms.

Wait.

I sit up, sheets falling around me, and search the room. Draven knocked me out with a sleeping potion, and he must have carried me back to the ship. I wince at the soreness in my jaw as I look around the room, the light soft in every corner. I’m not alone. Draven is leaning against the window, looking out at the dark, gloomy clouds and pouring rain. He is carving something in his hand with a knife, maybe a figurine, but it’s too dark for me to see. I wouldn’t know if it is night or day with how dark it is. Ren is quiet, a buttoned black shirt tight against his chest, tucked into tight black trousers, and I hate how my heart seems to pick up speed at the sight of him. “You had no right to⁠—”

Ren’s clipped reply cuts into me. “I had every right to get my prisoner back and make sure she wasn’t killed by royal guards. I’ve seen what they do to women like you, Map, and it wouldn’t have been pretty. The men high enough in the ranks to be sent after you on the fastest ships are the most brutal pieces of shit in existence. You were fucking lucky I woke up and managed to find you. You’re reckless, naive, and Amaterasu dammit, they sent you to punish me. For what, I don’t know.”

I’ve had enough. I pick up one of the books from the piles of them on the floor by the bed, and I launch it at him.

He catches it smoothly with one hand, barely even glancing my way. “Don’t do that again.”

“Alright. I live to listen to your commands, Captain,” I mock before picking up another book, this one heavier, and launching it at him again.

This one, he turns to catch, his intense and very vexed dark blue eyes locking onto mine. “Fucking stop it.”

“No. How did you find me? You shouldn’t have been able to, but you did. You’re keeping secrets. This ship is full of them, and I hate it almost as much as I hate you.” I throw another book at him, climbing off the bed to stand up.

He knocks it away, sending it slamming into the wall. “Do you know why I was laughing while you’ve been training?” I don’t reply, crossing my arms. I assumed it was to annoy me. “I sat and watched you every morning, and do you know why I laughed each time?” He takes a step towards me. “Because I knew that you were lying. You think I’m keeping secrets? You’re a map full of them. I watched you run from the crater. Even in the dress, you ran way too fast and way too silent and precise. I knew you were lying about your skills, and it makes me wonder what else you’re lying about. Did the king send you? Are you his spy?”

“No!” I laugh, waving at me. “I wish I were because maybe I wouldn’t be doing this. I am reckless. You’re right there, and I don’t care. I’ll always be reckless and foolish, and let the gods damn me if it means the people I love are safe.” I shake my head. “I’m a thief. It’s the only way I learned to survive when my parents died when I was fifteen. My day job didn’t pay enough, and even with the thieving, I barely made it day to day.” I lift my chin. “I stole the map, the single chance for a new life, and ever since I’ve gotten on board, you’ve made me feel like I was stupid for doing it. Now you’re judging me and hating me for running from you?”

He watches me for a second. A second that feels too long, too intense between us. “I never thought for a second you were stupid for getting the map. You’re too smart and it will get you killed. I am sorry about your parents.” He sits on the other side of the bed, continuing to carve at something. “Are you done throwing books at me?”

My shoulders drop. I guess I am. “I still don’t like you.”

“I never expected you to. Not many people do,” he admits, and it feels like a bridge between us. Hopefully, one of us doesn’t talk and smash the bridge to pieces. I step closer and realize he’s carving ice. A delicate horse running on a grassy green, and the detail is amazing. I don’t know how he’s not managing to melt it. His hands are barely wet, and the ice is a strange, dark blue color.

“What’s the point of that? It’s just going to melt,” I question.

He lifts his head, his locks of hair falling onto his forehead and his eyes staring right into mine. “They are something beautiful that can only be admired for a moment. A moment is worth the effort.” My heart crashes like a storm, matching the noise from outside. “The great library island’s not far from here. We’ll be landed by night in roughly six hours, which is good because you can only enter the island at night.”

“Have you been there before?” I question, taking a few steps away from him. I need to move away from him.

“Yes. It is old witch land,” he grumbles low. “I gave Tracker his daggers back, even the one you embedded in that man’s shoulder. Impressive, but next time go for the heart.”

“My hand slipped,” I mutter. It’s less embarrassing than admitting the guard was faster than I thought and I might have lost.

“Unlucky.” He puts the ice statue on the shelf near the window. “You won’t be training with Tracker anymore. You will train with me, now that you’re not lying anymore. I can train you to be better, to make sure you don’t slip.”

“I don’t want your help.” I cross my arms. “I like training with Tracker. He is polite and nice.”

His eyes splinter into something I don’t know how to read. “No, he isn’t. Your crush on him is pointless.” Jealousy. That’s the look. “What were your plans with the gold, clothes and one book in that bag? If you followed the map, we would have met again. Did you think any of it through?”