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Alina Marie McCarthy (b. 1995)

Adoration and Yearning, 2024

Acrylic and charcoal on canvas

The painting itself was beautiful, charcoal showing in unpainted places or through cool translucent tones. She stepped back, looking into blue eyes… her own eyes, rendered perfectly. The loose brush strokes evoked Charlotte’s spirit.

“It would have been better in oil,” Ali murmured behind her. “But it wouldn’t have dried in time. Then it might have smudged.”

Ali captured the impossible, the exact shade of her eyes and the magnetism she’d never understood when others spoke of it. The intensity held in her arresting expression kept them captive. Aptly named, the brushwork, the emotion rendered through every layer… adoration, yes. But yearning most of all.

“It’s perfect, Alina,” Charlotte said, voice filled with quiet reverence. It was perfect. She adored Ali and yearned for her in equal measure.

A soft inhale sounded behind her. “No one actually calls me that,” Ali whispered. “Not for a long time.”

It broke something in Charlotte. No one got close enough to know Ali’s full name.

“Do you not like it?”

Charlotte avoided acknowledging the depths of her growing feelings. Ignoring the butterflies in her stomach or how Ali was always on her mind. How colors seemed brighter and all the songs made sense again, perhaps even more than ever before. But looking at her now… Adoration and Yearning… there was no more ignoring the swell of emotions in her chest.

Ali shrugged, a shy smile tugging at her lips. “It’s pretty. But people always told me I was an Ali.” Her eyes glinted, small smile shifting to a smirk. “But you can call me whatever you like.”

And there was that sparkle that always unraveled her.

Their little bubble burst when Diana’s voice drew their attention.

“Not to interrupt, but I do have someone to introduce you too, Sugar.” She guided the woman with salt-and-pepper hair forward, excitement thickening her accent. “Leah, this is Ali McCarthy. Ali, this is Leah Coleman.”

Recognition clicked. Leah Coleman, the gallery owner her mother reconnected with, the one she remembered faintly from childhood, a more youthful tone reading her story after story. Back in Boston after her wife’s passing.

“When Diana told me she knew the artist of the hour, I insisted on an introduction,” Leah said, voice smooth as sharp gray pinned to Ali.

“Thank you for coming, Mrs. Coleman,” Ali greeted, shaking her hand a touch too eagerly. “Are you visiting from London?”

“I recently returned for a change of pace,” Leah said, all precision as she allowed Ali to shake her hand. “My new gallery opens soon.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Congratulations!” Ali said, finally releasing Leah’s hand. Her signature dimpled smile brightened the room, softening steel-gray boring into her. Impossible to resist, pulling people in like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“I’m quite interested to see more of your work,” Leah said. “Tell me, what are your plans for the coming year?”

Ali’s smile remained impossibly bright. “I’ll continue building my current body of work,” Ali said, no waver in tone, posture looser. “I’ve also applied for a few residencies.”

Charlotte’s stomach dropped and discomfort tightened around her ribs.

Residencies? Where? When…?

She struggled to keep her expression neutral, but no one saw… everyone’s attention ping ponging between Ali and Leah.

Her pulse thundered in her chest as a singular thought cycled through her mind… Ali was going to leave.

The thought drilled into her, rooting itself. She was going to miss her chance. Would it be selfish to ask her to stay? To want more time when Ali was standing right at the edge of everything she’d worked for?

Charlotte forced herself to take a slow breath. This was Ali’s night and she deserved every opportunity it brought.

Her chest ached regardless as though her heart had turned to sand, struggling to keep its rhythm. Ali wasn’t even hers. Maybe she never would be.

Lamplight illuminated the city, catching on the wet pavement and passing cars as the hum of Boston’s night life welcomed them into the night air.