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I stared out over the pond until a quiet sniff reached me. I turned toward her and held my arms open, letting her make the choice. She came willingly, and I gathered her in my arms as the first sob broke free. Her tears soaked through to my skin, and I pulled her between my thighs as she clutched onto my shirt.

“Baby, you’re breaking my heart.”

The soft scent of her shampoo filled my nose as I hugged her body closer to mine. I didn’t know what I expected, but this wasn’t it. Her fingers twisted in the front of my shirt. She wasn’t pulling away or asking questions; she simply let me hold her. For the first time since I’d found her, she allowed someone else to carry the weight.

Forty-Six

Cali

Icried harder than I had in years—not because of one thing, but because every impossible weight I’d carried had finally found somewhere to land. For so long, life had felt like a series of battles I barely survived. One crisis after another. Mom. Grandma’s health. Grandpa’s health. Brett. Bills. Moving. Every time I managed to get my head above water, another wave crashed over me. And somehow, Lane had been carrying pieces of my life I didn’t even know were falling apart. I gripped the front of his shirt and buried my face against his chest.

“You bought the farm?” I whispered.

His hand moved slowly up and down my back. “Yeah.”

“You paid for my college?”

“Part of it.”

A watery laugh escaped me. “Part of it?”

“You did the hard part, baby.”

I shook my head. “You should’ve told me.”

His heart raced beneath my cheek. “I know, but I was worried that you wouldn’t let me.”

The honesty in those words made something ache inside me. I pulled back enough to look at him. The sunset painted everything gold and orange, and for a moment I saw the boy I’d fallen in love with at seventeen. Except life had carved new lines into his face, made him steadier, stronger. His eyes searched mine, waiting for a verdict. The realization stole my breath. Lane, who had always seemed larger than life to me, looked like he was preparing for me to walk away.

“I don’t know what to say,” I said softly.

Pain flickered across his features. “You don’t have to say anything.”

The water lapped quietly beneath the dock. A bird called somewhere across the pond. “Why?” The word came out softer than I expected. Why had he carried all of this alone?

He looked away and studied the water. “Because every time I thought about showing up, you looked happy.”

My brow furrowed. “What?”

“You were building a life.” His voice was rough. “You were getting through school. Making friends. Becoming who you wanted to be.”

His jaw worked. “And I was the guy who wasn’t worth staying for.”

My pulse stumbled because I heard the truth underneath the words: He believed every one.

“That’s not true. You don't get to decide that for me.”

“I wasn’t deciding for you.”

“Then what were you doing?”

His laugh held no humor. “Being a coward, mostly.”

I stared at him. He rubbed a hand over his face.

“I kept telling myself I’d tell you next year. Then after graduation. Then after your first job.” His eyes met mine again. “And after enough years passed, I didn't know how to explain any of it without sounding completely insane. So I did the only thing I knew how to do—I stayed away.”

A tiny smile tugged at my mouth despite everything. “That ship may have sailed.”