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He was yelling now to be heard through the storm. Lightning streaked across the sky. My hand shook so badly the key scraped against the lock twice before I found it. His hand closed around my shoulder and spun me toward him. The momentum carried me into his chest. His expression changed the second he saw my face. His hand dropped like he’d been burned. My rain-soaked scrubs clung to my body, and the warmth of him was the last thing I wanted to crave. Part of me wanted to remember what it felt like to be held by him, but letting him close again scraped against every place I’d worked so hard to protect. One look from him made every wall I’d built feel as fragile as glass. Rain plastered his hair to his forehead, darkened his shirt, and clung to the muscular lines of his shoulders. Rivulets dripped off his five-o’clock shadow. His eyes searched mine, and for one terrifying second, I remembered the way he used to make the world feel safe.

“I’m so sorry,” he rasped. I stared at him. Not because I didn’t hear the apology—because I needed him to understand that sorry wasn’t enough.

“Why do you keep avoiding me?” He gritted out the words as if it were painful.

“Why are you caging me in?” I asked, stepping back until the car stopped me. Lane moved forward instinctively, then caught himself, leaving only inches between us. He gripped the back of his neck.

“Because I’m afraid you’ll run.” His forest eyes searched mine with the same intensity that used to make me feel seen. Now it only reminded me how much he could still hurt me. He rested his hands on either side of me as his forehead rested a breath away from mine.

“Tell me you don’t still feel this,” he whispered. “And I’ll believe you.”

His warm breath skated against my cheek and neck as his lips brushed my ear. My body betrayed me before my pride could stop it, leaning toward him for warmth. I pulled back immediately, like distance could erase the reaction.

“I’m not the quiet, scared girl anymore. I don’t need you,” I clipped.

“You don’t need me, Cali. I know that.” His voice dropped. “But don’t stand there and tell me you don’t feel this.”

“Doesn’t seem like you’ve had issues keeping your bed warm at night.” I measured each word. I’d seen the magazines and the red carpet photos. Lane with a beautiful woman on his arm, looking like losing me had never cost him a thing.

“Why do you care? Did you want to be there?” The almost cruelty I’d seen earlier gleamed again.

“Never,” I bit out, and it was true. I would have never had a relationship with Brett if he’d simply been a placeholder. My relationship with Brett was built on the belief that he was a “good man.” Until he wasn’t. He had checked all the boxes. A firefighter who loved his job. A man who took care of his younger half brother. Now, I knew that wasn’t the full story.

For a second, I believed he was finally seeing me. Not the girl who left. Not the girl he’d built a story around. Me. Something changed in his expression.

There was no mistaking the anger behind his next words.

“Jace’s dad . . . Did you screw him and then walk away like none of it mattered? Did you quit on him the same way you quit on us? You always run when things stop being easy, don’t you? You leave before anyone gets the chance to leave you.”

He clenched his jaw and a vein pulsed at his temple. The hurt that rippled through my heart felt like a physical blow. He didn’t know the truth. He couldn’t. He didn’t know how hard I’d fought to save us. He didn’t know why I had to leave Brett. The truth pressed against my teeth, but I forced it back down.

The girl who would’ve fought for him had died a long time ago. I refused to bury myself beside her.

Twenty-Three

Lane

The fight left her eyes, replaced by something that made my stomach drop. She jerked back as if I’d struck her. She placed both hands against my chest and shoved.

“Get away from me.” Her voice was quiet. Somehow, that scared me more.

“If wanting you means having my heart ripped to shreds again . . .” Her voice cracked, but she swallowed it down. “Then let me make this clear. I don’t want you. I don’t need you. I don’t want any kind of relationship with you again. Physical. Dating. Nothing. Wanting someone has only ever broken me, and I’m tired of being broken.”

Rain dripped from her eyelashes, and one tear disappeared into the water running down her cheek. Somewhere along the way, I had become the villain in her story.

I lifted my hand to wipe away her tear, but her flinch stopped me. I closed my hand and let it fall back to my side. Once, my touch had been the place she ran to. We would sit on her grandpa’s pier, kissing until the stars filled the sky.

“Cali, what happened to us?”

I was lost. The only word for it. The same hollow, helpless feeling I’d carried the day I discovered she was gone. The day my future walked away from me, never knowing she carried every dream I’d ever had.

“You.”

She spat the word out like she was trying to get rid of a bitter taste. I stared at her, unable to comprehend.

“Don’t act surprised, Lane. I meant nothing to you, so why did you think I’d stay?” She grabbed her door, practically shoving me out of the way, and slammed it shut.

I stood there, watching her taillights disappear, unable to understand how we had ended up here. I walked to my truck, willing my heart to keep beating. Slow, steady breaths. But my throat felt like it was closing in around me. I climbed in, soaked to the bone, and gripped the steering wheel. My chest felt bound as I fought to inhale each breath.